plans for the future, i will beat HA

[AnxietyKillinMe]

Hi all. I recently posted about my fears of having ALS, which haven't gone away at all of course. I'm waiting to hear from my GP about when my appt with neuro will be and then going from there. This will certainly be the longest waiting game that I've ever played. The title of this post is probably misleading to say the least. I do truly believe that I have ALS, however, should by some miracle I do not then I will have no choice but to chalk up all of these feelings to anxiety as I can't imagine what else it would be given all of my other diagnostic tests have been negative. I'm more than familiar with anxiety, it might as well be my middle name. I know all of the symptoms and I know it can make you feel however it wants to make you feel. This just seems very different to me, like I can feel deep down in my gut that something just isn't right. I take xanax for my anxiety and it's not like when I take it everything stops, although I wish it did because then it would be an easy fix. Why do I think I have ALS? Body wide fascics that have gone on for two weeks now, randoming cramping of mostly my thighs and calves as well as stiffness in them too after having done nothing physical, right wrist now tight, feels like objects as light as a spoon and fork are heavy and hard to get a grip on properly, some random buzzing of the feet but rarely, some random shots of tingling at various parts of my body. Anyway, to the original point, if that is all somehow some massive coincidence and it's nothing but anxiety which i can't see how that's possible, then i will determine that my anxiety is awful and i will see a counselor regarding it. If anxiety can do all of this, then I need more help than anyone here can provide and I realize that. I'm nervous that it is what i think it is and that i'm nothing short of doomed, but we'll see what neuro says. I'll get through it one way or the other, either by way of death via ALS or overcoming my anxiety through therapy.

[Colicab85]

Can I ask, do you have any clinical weakness anywhere?

Can you do everything you could do a month ago? Albeit with slightly strange feelings?

[swajj]

Everytime I believed I had a serious illness I felt deep down in my gut that I was right.

The symptoms of ALS are not vague hazy maybes. They are very dramatic. The old neurologist who used to contribute here said that. He also said that in almost all cases the patients would present after a trip and fall episode. That is tripping and falling for no reason. Or they would be holding something like a cup and it would just fall out of their hand for no reason. Symptoms did not improve and there were no good and bad periods. Does any of that sound like what is happening with you?

---------- Post added at 17:34 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------

See a counsellor. Why wait? You don't have ALS. And when you get confirmation of that you will move on to another health fear. You may as well get the process underway. t this time of year you will probably have to wait a while for an appointment.

[AnxietyKillinMe]

@colicab85 it doesn't seem like clinical weakness per say, of course there is some perceived weakness like in my right hand now especially but that's new within the last week-ish or so. I can still use my right hand it just feels different. I've walked on my tip toes, heels, balanced on one foot etc. with no inability to do so. In fact it kinda feels like my legs are better off now than they were when this all began and now it's more in my arms. I still work, lift patients, etc. just feel weaker in general.

@swajj No tripping although sometimes i feel like my left foot hits the ground early and brushes it but not necessarily tripping no. One of my legs is longer than the other and usually i go to the chiropractor for adjustments and haven't in a while, so i'm assuming thats probably part of feeling like i'm walking oddly. that and just paying attention to it now. no dropping of cups or anything although i feel like i've been dropping things more so i've consciously made an effort to really grab something tight when i want it. only weird thing is feeling like i'm just barely able to hold onto a fork or a spoon when i was eating dinner with my gf last night it just felt heavy but idk if im just over analyzing things now.

[swajj]

My foot dragged too. But only if I thought about it. I'd be walking around the mall and the thought would come "my foot just seemed to scrape the floor". For the rest of my walk around the mall it seemed like my foot was dragging so much that my shoe was going to fall off! You think you aren't thinking about it but you are, all the time. You are watching that movie and are positive you are distracted and not even remotely thinking about ALS. But you are. HA is insidious. You do not have ALS.

[AnxietyKillinMe]

@swajj kinda sounds like you went through what i'm going through? The tiniest little part of me thinks that i'm fine because it's hard to imagine having something so rare. At the same time just because it's rare doesn't mean that no one has it, someone has to have it and i just feel like i'm that unlucky person. I wish i could rationalize and realize it's all probably BFS but twitching is just so weird and random. It's not like i'm hyperventilating and could control my breathing if i wanted to, twitching is uncontrollable so that's probably why it has me so freaked out. Most normal people with anxiety get short of breath or chest pain that goes away. I have twitching that i've never had before that started out of the blue. It's just all so weird.

[Colicab85]

@colicab85 it doesn't seem like clinical weakness per say, of course there is some perceived weakness like in my right hand now especially but that's new within the last week-ish or so. I can still use my right hand it just feels different. I've walked on my tip toes, heels, balanced on one foot etc. with no inability to do so. In fact it kinda feels like my legs are better off now than they were when this all began and now it's more in my arms. I still work, lift patients, etc. just feel weaker in general.

In all honesty if you do not have clinical weakness you will not get a diagnosis of ALS. What I mean by that is THE diagnostic feature of ALS is CLINICAL weakness, a hand that doesn't work, an ankle or toe that you cannot raise.

A neurologist will not diagnose you with ALS, they will not book you in for an EMG, they will perform a neurological exam to test reflexes and strength and when that is all fine (which it will be) they will ask you about recent stressors and things.

You will be told its Anxiety, advised to check some websites, maybe buy a book and get a therapist.

I GUARANTEE this will happen.

[swajj]

I had the twitching and I thought like you "how can I possibly be imagining this?". If you had told me at the time that all the twitching was due to my muscles being tense I would never have believed it but that was the cause of most of it. Looking back a few years later I know that my headaches, vision problems, breathing problems etc etc were all the result of either focusing on a particular part of my body or the result of muscle tension. My HA was quite severe. I was under a psychiatrist for a couple of years nearly.

[AnxietyKillinMe]

@colicab85 you're probably right about the clinical weakness. i can't, and it seems many others, can't wrap their heads around the fact that clinical weakness most likely isn't progressive in nature but sudden. the twitching is what started all of my fears because it's just such a random uncontrollable thing. had i not twitched and continue to twitch i wouldn't even be posting right now.

[swajj]

Yeah I guarantee that will happen to.

See a counsellor because HA gets worse.

---------- Post added at 18:26 ---------- Previous post was at 18:25 ----------

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