Feelign a bit Silly

[Gemgems]

Hi, Well Im feeling a bit silly doing this but here goes, I have suffered with panic attacks as long as i can remember, the first one i had must have been when I was about 7 or eight years old and it was the most frightening thing I have ever experienced, I did not know what to do. I was far to scared to tell my parents, they would have told me that I as a Drama Quen and seeking attention, I was a bit of on an attention seeker I liked people to like me so I was always the loudest the little actress of the family LOL.

I often had panic attacks growing up, they would always be at night when I was on my own, I would be laying there and all of a sudden I would feel like I wasnt really here on this planet and that nothing was real, I would start to think about the universe and what its all about and feel confused, to me thats very profound for a child to even think about those things. Then would come the fear that I was going to die, and it was not nessacarily that I was going to die there and then, but that I would die soon and of something horrid and nasty disease or a tragic accident. (even writing all this down is making me feel scared)

I always had to leave the light on in my room so I could see and make sure nothing bad was going to get me, but unfortunatlry my parents wanted the light off, I did have a night light but they took that off me as well as the said it used to much electric (yeah right about 1p a night) So I used to get a tourch and hide under my duvet and read books for as long as I could till I could read no more and I feel asleep. I found that reading was the only way to stop me from thinking about dying and feeling scared. Only problem was is that I would be awake for hours, then in the morning I would not want to get up and I would be very tierd at school and this meant I got in to trouble ALOT.

Growing in to adult life has been even worse, I have the most irrational thoughts and I even feel that sometimes I am going completley mad, I get so frightened and they always say there is a thin line between being sain and insane, what if I fall over that line :-( When Im not feeling panicy I know that the thoughts I am having are silly.

I just wish I could get rid of them I hate the panic so much it has caused me so much misery through out the years it is just not fair!!!!!!!!!!!

[minny]

Hi Gem!

No one here will think youre silly at all. We all know exactly how you feel and how scary panic attacks can be. There were a lot of people who I felt I couldnt talk to as well as I knew their reaction wouldnt be what I needed to hear.

This site and the people here can and will help you!

Good luck

Love Minny..xx



I have NOT failed!! Ive succeeded in finding 1000 solutions that dont work! )

[jill]

Hi Gem,

Welcome to the site,

I know what you mean, I felt a bit silly at first,
but the poeple on this sit our lovely they
will help and support you. They have helped me
so much I have not had a PA since August,
and its all down to this site and the special people
on here.With alot of hard work support and time
you to can see less of Mr Panic.
Remember you are not alone.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL



Time is the most valuable coin
in life.
You and you alone will determine
how that coin will be spent.
Be careful that you don't let other
people spend it for you.

[KW]

Hi there Gem

You are in no way silly. Like Minny said in her msg we would never think that as we are all going through the same feelings.

You will find lots of advice and support here.

KW

[ed]

Hi Gem,
and welcome to the site! Panic is a nasty thing and it sounds like you've been really suffering for far too long now. There's definitely no reason for you to feel silly, you're not alone in those irrational thoughts!the forum is packed with advice and people here are very understanding and supportive, so you're in the right place! Also check out the chat room in the evening, it's great to be able to chat to other like-minded people who actually know what you're going through. Take care of yourself,
ed


when ideas fail, words come in very handy

[seh1980]

hi Gem,

Like everyone else has said, there is no reason for you to feel silly!! I'm sure that everyone on here has suffered those irrational thoughts at some point so don't think that you're alone!!

Oh by the way, welcome to the site!!

Sarah

[davebrum]

hi gem welcome
if you are silly what does that make us lol
were all in the same boat jem so dont think of yourself being silly - just bonkers like the rest of us
youve come to the right place for support and advice and if you want to see just how bonkers we are join us in chat i guarantee you will have a laugh
xx david

[sal]

Hi Gem

Firstly welcome to the site.

You are not silly at all and it is very common how you are feeling. I have struggled with terrible thoughts throughout the years and just wanted them erasing from my head. Like you when i am feeling okay i know they are daft but once anxiety sets in it takes all the rational feelings away. It is common to feel you are going mad, as that is how i feel and worry that i might overstep the line. Plus i also punish myself thinking i must be awful person to have such thoughts.

But remember a conscious thought does not mean it is going to come true. Thinking you are going to win the lottery doesnt make it happen.

Plus if you were going mad, trust me you would be the last one to know about it, as you wouldnt be able to see it or reason with it.

Anxiety and panic attacks do produce some terrible situations but through out them you are still in control, although you may not feel it but in madness you wouldnt be.

Take care.



Love Sal xxxxx

[Karen]

Hi Gem

Welcome to the site.

I'm sure you will get loads of help and support here.



Briary



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[jo-jo]

Hi Gem

Don't feel you are being silly for a minute, most of us here have had irrational thoughts at some point and I guess that's a part of the nature of the panic and anxiety we suffer. What you can be sure of is that there are some great people here and we will try to help you as much as we can - welcome

Best wishes, Jo xx