My Worst Fear

[KW]

Hi all

I've just had supervision with my boss and with the way the services are expanding he'd like to train me up to be Admin Manager (i'm Admin Officer at the moment) and will have Admin Support under me, but he would like me to go on all these different courses such as...interview skills...time management....and......

........presentation skills [xx(] (MY WORST FEAR)

How on earth will i cope?! I have social phobia and can't abide people looking at me or listening when i'm the focus of attention... I'm glad i've started counselling, came just at the right time! My boss obviously thinks i'm capable though..is he mad?!...he saw how nervous i was when he interviewed me.., guess i should believe in myself a bit more. I can barely say a few words at meetings etc so god knows how i'll manage with doing presentation!! [8)]

But.... I will have a go. Maybe this is what i need to conquer my fear. Everything happens for a reason i suppose. I'm not going to say i can't do this.....i won't know until i try will i

KW

[minny]

Hi KW!!

You can do this! Remember how you felt during the build up to calling for a counsellor?? You did it and we are all so proud of you! We know how difficult it was for you!
This is another challenge! A bigger one granted, but one that you can handle! Your boss isnt mad, he just sees your ability and your potential. He obviously knows a good thing when he sees it and has faith in you!

Good on you for giving it a bash! We are behind you ALL the way!

Good luck and a big hug!

Love Minny...xx



I have NOT failed!! Ive succeeded in finding 1000 solutions that dont work! )

[jill]

Hi KW,

YOU CAN DO THIS.
Keep those positive thoughts going
We are all behind you all the way.

GOOD LUCK.

LOVE JILLXXX


Do it trembling if you must, but do it!

[tt]

I have been there. After each time you will feel better. When you begin, practise speaking slow and soft not to soft but enough to be heard. No one notices that your nervous as long as you speak slow. If you are a little nervous, just declare this to your boss. Let him know that I think I will be nervous at first. I have just came back from facilitaing a large group and a few weeks before this had to practise with big executives and my boss. The thing that was wonderful was the everyone in the room declared that it does make one feel nervous in different enviroments. But the good thing is they made us practise for
2 days and by the 2nd day we all felt better. All it takes is practise.
If you have the oportunity to practise a little bit on someone or some co-workers you feel comfortable do it. But don't let this little fear thing stand in your way. Your boss must feel you are the right fit, so I sure you are. Your in charge of this fear, stand tall and tell yourself you want this and I can do it. Repeat the"The I can do it" to yourself each and every time you think or go to say "i can't or I don't know"
Positive thinking is the key.


Good Luck!
tt

[Sue]

Congratulations!!

Your boss wouldnt ask you if he didnt think you could it, so that in itself must be a confidence boost.

Good luck,

Sue

[Karen]

Hi KW

I can understand this being your biggest fear, having social phobia myself. There is no way in a million years I could even consider standing in front of everyone to do a presentation.

I think you are really brave to go for it. Hopefully your counselling will help. As others have said, your boss obviously has faith in you or he wouldn't have suggested it.

All you can do is try.



Briary



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

KW - congratulations on being asked . Thats pretty special these days

You've had great advice already.

I would add that you can't do all those courses within a week or so so you have time to get to grips with the other aspects of the role and decide whether it is for you overall.

When you have a presentations course date ask for details of the tyrainer and make an effort to speak to them ahead of time and explain your circumstances so you're comfortable that you won't be picked on out of the blue .

Once the course is over start practicing immediately - to 1 -2 people for a while , the build up to 3-4 people and do it until you're comfortable etc . You'll need to do at least one a week - practice on friends, boss, peers , kids etc

Some of the battle is knowing your subject intimately .

Good luck




Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[KW]

Hi Meg

Thank you for your advice. I have been in a right state about all of this, I just don't know if i can go ahead.

I feel very trapped at the moment. My boss explained at this morning's meeting that all the staff have to be in this 100% for the new structure to develop. But i just know i'm going to let him down. No matter how hard i've tried in the past i always go to pieces when i have to 'present' myself in any form - i struggle to talk at meetings let alone do presentations / talks on a regular basis! It's just not me..i'd go blank, would appear nervous, would shake... My boss has never seen me like it so he obviously doesn't realise my problem..i've battled to hide it from everyone i work with.

I'm seriously considering looking for a new job. I'm starting to get down about it and my stress levels are going through the roof. I would only dread coming to work if i went ahead with this and would probably become ill. I know i sounded positive last week but i was only kidding myself and deep down i know what my limits are.

I feel such a failure.

KW

[KW]

A colleague of mine is in exactly the same predicament as me and i feel so much better now i've told her how i feel. She also has the chance of promotion but she's going to refuse as she doesn't know how she'd get through doing talks / presentations. She thinks i ought to explain to my boss that i can't do the talks.. but i'm scared even to do that! I'm getting so down about this and feel so trapped. There's a presentation course in November and my colleague joked and said maybe we should both go on it together...

i would prefer to avoid it altogether.....

KW

[Karen]

Hi KW

Firstly, you are certainly not a failure. You have been making excellent progress recently and pushing yourself to move forward.

I would be petrified of the presentations too, so I really do understand how you feel. I couldn't continue with my uni course because of this and taking part in discussion work. I know how difficult it is.

It is good you managed to talk to your colleague about it. I think a lot of people who don't even have social phobia would be quite scared of doing presentations.

Talking to your boss would be a good idea, but I know this might be difficult too. Maybe putting yourself under this much pressure to take the promotion is too much at the present time. But, if you were able to speak to your boss there might be a way to work around the situation without being dropped straight in the deep end.

You might find as you continue to work with your counsellor these situations become a little easier.

I'm thinking of you and hope you can sort this out.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.