I remember reading all the side effects of the anti depressants and thinking no way no way no way! I had though already convinced myself that i was taking them - i was just too scared!!!
My PND was mostly related to anxiety and my fear of hurting the kids if I went insane and I was alone with them, I thought I would have to leave the house and let my boyfriend look after them if i was deemed unsafe. The HV was brilliant everyone gets strange thoughts but it is how we deal with them. Alot of people dismiss them as 'silly' thoughts but for some reason some of us latch onto them and the problem gets worse. in my view the ony way to help yourself is by seeing a counseller (and taking meds such as anti-depressants as it can help you on your way! if you need too)
The fact that I was so guuted, upset and hysterical at the thought of touching a hair on my childrens heads showed I was no an 'evil' person
Anyway i am now over that particular 'anxiety(?) fear(?) but I remember all too well how it felt.
Kate I remember reading in a mother/baby book that all you go through (physically and mentally) when your pregnant that is really a miracle that any women DO NOT get PND!!! The fact is we got medical help and we got better!
I couldn't believe it when I was diagnosed with PND I remember sitting down and telling the HV I was having a nervous breakdown or was heading for a mental illness and she shook her head and said No it is PND. i mean everything was great i had a beautiful, health, happy baby who didn't cry alot and slept all night why was I feeling like this. (my 1st son cried all night and you couldn't put him down and I NEVER got PND). the HV said when she done the questionnaire with me I got a 'no' score and possibly everything was too good at that point and something had to happen!!!
No need to feel guilty now Kate
Lucky
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