Hey guys,
It seems like I unfortunately got a new theme.
I was again trapped in deep thinking and thought too much about the nature of conciousness. I asked myself what is the origin of our thoughts? Where do they come from? Are they somehow predefined? All these questions made me panick a lot. Everytime I'm making a decision I ask myself "Was it really me who made this decision?" "What made me decide this way?". I feel like I can't trust my own thoughts, eventhough deep down I know that it's irrational and the way I think is fine like it was all my life.
I'm scared that I somehow loose my identity or my mind. I'm feeling like going insane once more.
Does anyone of you have experience with that kind of thoughts? It's really depressing my at the moment...
best
---------- Post added at 23:22 ---------- Previous post was at 23:00 ----------
My obsession and anxiety sticks to the concept of fate. The image that everything is predefined terrifies me.
The stupid thing is, that I never believed in such things before.
I find it hard to accept this thought because it has it's backdoor (just like every other obsession). When I think "Okay then, everything is predefined" the thought is followed by "I just accept this thought because it's predefined for me to accept it". It's like a paradoxon or loop in my head. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but it freaks me out. I even remember thinking about the same topic as a child. Back then I found it funny and interesting and went on with my life.
Anxiety is a *****