I'm not sure if I ever had HOCD!!! HELP

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Thank you so much Dave1. Reassurance however is backfiring majorly on me. I saw the hottest guy with abs today at my swimming carnival. Do you personally think it's not normal to fall for a guy who likes you back? That how my crushes have started. I feel like I'm forcing a gross attraction to girls which kills me more. I realised today that I might be different and get so anxious about this topic. But I also realised how much I want kids in my life and how I need a loving man there to support me.

Have you experienced hocd before?

[Ljthompson10]

I have been told by very respected members on this forum that if you were gay (which there is nothing wrong with being) then you wouldn't be on this forum asking these questions. You would know.

The only problems you would have would be looking up how to come out.
You would not even be questioning HOCD as you would have had NO attraction to guys and you would be fine the way you are.

[Dave1]

Hi,

I have no experience of HOCD and even less of being a 14 yr old girl. But reading your posts, you obviously like guys, and you obviously over-think everything at the moment. If you want more insight, then you'll have to talk to the young girls here or the parents here.

[GlassPinata]

The feelings you are describing are not abnormal for a 14-year-old girl.
Your anguish over them is a little unusual, and I think you should seek some help from a trusted adult in understanding that sexual curiosity (yes, about both sexes) is a normal part of growing up.
If you can't talk to your parents about these questions and concerns you have, then perhaps try a trusted teacher, a school nurse or a school counselor. Or even your family doctor.
It is important that you speak to some adult that can help you sort this out (not your feelings, per se, as there is nothing wrong with them... but the anguish and confusion they are causing you.)

Best wishes.

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Hey guys thank you so much. Today I took a meditation and yoga class. It was amazing. It helped get rid of unwanted thoughts and really helped me see the brighter side of life. I saw my crush, I felt so amazing around him. I really saw girls as just members of my own gender and saw guys as future boyfriends. I also talked to my friends about a cute guys at our swimming carnival, it felt so natural. However there are still too many doubts. Reading the above comment I'm unsure of what they meant. Are you saying I sound gay? Is it bad that I don't get aroused by guys and only girls? Is it weird that some of the thoughts are ok but horrible a second time?

[Ljthompson10]

Well done for making progression!!

You clearly like guys

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Thank you. My liking for guys hasn't ever been over the top. I have just saw a guy that I could be with and thought it was nice. I was never boy crazy. For one time in my life I dressed like a tomboy. My dad hates it and told me to wear normal girl clothes. PLEASE ANSWER THESE: is it weird that I only get aroused (or what I think is aroused) by girls? Is it weird that I once found sex with a girl appealing and then disgusted myself out? And finally, do you think it's weird that I drew boobs on barbies when I was little?

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Its getting worse. Now it's like I'm starting to like girls!!! I hate it!! I found a cute guy today that I like now because I thought that he liked me back already!! I don't think that's normal?????!?

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Help me!!!!

[Kuatir]

Help yourself. You said meditation and Yoga helped? Well keep up with that, try to practice on a daily basis. These are intrusive thoughts that I would suggest are probably highlighted by your age and all of those hormones flying around as you go through puberty.