I'm not sure if I ever had HOCD!!! HELP

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Yes, I am currently doing yoga and meditation once a week for about two hours. But all this is tiring me out. I want to be with a guy but it's like I'm telling myself I don't want to be with one and I'm supposed to be with a girl which is making me more stressed. Are you saying I am gay????

[Kathryn313]

I don't think you are gay. I do think you have HOCD.

I also think that this site in itself won't help, it works well as an outlet for thoughts but contact with a professional in the real world is often best way to adress the anxiety you are going through.

Best wishes.

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Thank you. I'm also struggling lots because I just found out my crush is dating someone. I fell for him because I thought he liked me. This is making me doubt it all even more

[Kathryn313]

Doubt is part of life and relationships. It's hard going sometimes. When I was younger (am mid thirties now), I only had a diary to write in and it didn't write back , there was no googling to make you hyper aware of things. You just wrote things down and reflected and moved on to the next day and the next one.

Can't imagine how hard it must now be to deal with so many accessible opinions. Must be hard to know your own thoughts.

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Sure is. Look, I do understand that this isn't a good place to be, but I just need help. I don't want to say a girl but it's like my mind wants me to have that and is pushing so hard that I am just letting go now and maybe I just need to accept it. Is it bad that I'm jealous that my crush is dating someone else? Also is it weird that I only like guys who I think like me back?

---------- Post added at 11:34 ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 ----------

it's getting worse. Ever since losing my crush. I'm questioning myself so much that I'm starting to like girls - I hate hate hate it. Please help me

---------- Post added at 11:37 ---------- Previous post was at 11:34 ----------

WAIT NO CRAP WAIT NO CRAP!! I just sent out a message to my friends saying "deleting people from my friends list, if you want to be kept, reply, if not, stuff you". HE REPLIED STRAIGHT AWAY! Ugh I can't stop questioning this though.

[beatroon]

Hi there,

OK, I'm going to take a firm line and say that you need to open up to an adult you trust about how you feel - someone who will understand what HOCD is and won't misunderstand, and then you need to find a therapist who specialises in OCD, and then you need to start on a programme of ERP with them. And all through that, you need to stop Googling and asking yourself the question. Think of yourself like a Zen master: the only way to truly know is to stop asking.

I know that you won't feel good about this, because asking the question is a compulsion, and it HURTS when you try to stop compulsing. But you have to try, in order to stop living with the kind of distress you're experiencing now, which is very debilitating and unfair on you.

I know it sounds as though we are all faintly indulgent adults going 'oh well you're 14 and you'll work it out eventually' but it really is true that as you get older, things do resolve themselves naturally, and being anxious about something now isn't going to save you any potential pain later. What WILL save you pain is living in the moment and getting help with your condition.

I wish you all the best in your recovery. You sound like a very emotionally switched-on person, highly intelligent, and I am sure that you can beat this thing, but don't try to do it on your own. Good luck!

[Dave1]

Hi, You said you talked with someone else you knew who had HOCD. Maybe chat some more with that person and compare how you both feel. That might help.

[Helpmeeeeeeeplz]

Hi there,

OK, I'm going to take a firm line and say that you need to open up to an adult you trust about how you feel - someone who will understand what HOCD is and won't misunderstand, and then you need to find a therapist who specialises in OCD, and then you need to start on a programme of ERP with them. And all through that, you need to stop Googling and asking yourself the question. Think of yourself like a Zen master: the only way to truly know is to stop asking.

I know that you won't feel good about this, because asking the question is a compulsion, and it HURTS when you try to stop compulsing. But you have to try, in order to stop living with the kind of distress you're experiencing now, which is very debilitating and unfair on you.

I know it sounds as though we are all faintly indulgent adults going 'oh well you're 14 and you'll work it out eventually' but it really is true that as you get older, things do resolve themselves naturally, and being anxious about something now isn't going to save you any potential pain later. What WILL save you pain is living in the moment and getting help with your condition.

I wish you all the best in your recovery. You sound like a very emotionally switched-on person, highly intelligent, and I am sure that you can beat this thing, but don't try to do it on your own. Good luck!

Thank you. However, when you say stuff will fall into place when I'm older, it freak me out again. Do you personally think I have hocd? It feels like my mind wants me to like girls and that deep down maybe I'm a lesbian...but I don't like that. I want to be with a guy

---------- Post added at 05:30 ---------- Previous post was at 05:23 ----------

Hi, You said you talked with someone else you knew who had HOCD. Maybe chat some more with that person and compare how you both feel. That might help.

Thank you. He basically told me ways to really get rid of unwanted thoughts. He also told me that my mind is so focused of girls right now and said that's why I have liked girls boobs and butts. But I don't want to be with one. I also talked to a lesbian, and she said that she could never imagine liking sexual relationships with a guy and being turned on by one. She told me that it's ok to think a girl is pretty, and that I can admire them without sexually or emotionally wanting to date them.

I'm also currently upset and am doubting because my crush is dating someone else. It just all feels so real

PLEASE ANSWER:
Is it weird that I like guys who I think like me back? Ian that not normal?

[AnxiousAbbie]

Oh my gosh. I could have written this myself at the age 14 as well! I suffered from this very thing for probably 3 years. You poor thing

If it's any consolation, I'm now 23 and have been with my MALE partner for 5 years! And I look back to the time when I worried about this and can laugh about it. I know at the time though, it was awful.

Your brain is telling you that you HAVE to have a definitive answer to this question, but it's also pushing back at every opportunity. I had exactly the same thoughts that you've mentioned, which were actually totally ridiculous if looked at from a rational perspective.

Please PM me if you want to chat xxxxx

[beatroon]

Hi there

I really can't answer whether or not you have HOCD, as that would constitute reassuring you, which is only going to work for about two hours before your brain latches onto something else to worry about - trust me, I've been there!

I would recommend looking up MynameisTerry's excellent resources on mindfulness, and doing that practice as hard as you can. I also really think your next step should be to speak to an adult - or could you go and see your GP and explain your worries? It would be helpful for you to be on some kind of treatment pathway, I think - all this suffering you're undergoing can be helped.

Positive thoughts!