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Thread: My Experience and Tips

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    My Experience and Tips

    Okay, well I just thought that I'd make a post here because I haven't in ages, and I thought I could give anyone else suffering some tips for anxiety, and strategies that have helped me pull myself out of the darkest pits of anxiety. I still worry quite a bit, but a few weeks ago I genuinely thought that I couldn't go on, and was even close to suicide. But right now I feel a hell of a lot more positive about life and have realised that I generate problems in my head and create wild, catastrophic scenarios of all different natures. This time last year, I thought my mum was going to die because she had a cough. That was it. But I overanalysed and came to the conclusion that she had a late form of lung cancer, and wouldn't make it to August 2016. Now she's here, still alive and well and I effectively wasted months of my life worrying over this.

    Firstly, tell yourself that you're overanalysing the situation. When we worry about something, we often look into the thing/situation/event into way too much detail, more detail than someone without anxiety would, and from this amount of detail we draw what we think are logical conclusions as to what we think will happen. This is called obsessing over this particular worry, and totally picking it apart and dissecting it, which should never be done because it will only create more problems than there were originally- keep in mind that these problems will likely not affect you, or occur the way you think they will, which leads me on to my next point..

    You are not psychic. What we sometimes seem to forget is that we can't tell the future. We don't know how the future will pan out, but rest assured that unless you have sufficient (and I mean sufficient) evidence for it, it won't happen the way you think it will, and in reality if it did happen, then you'd handle it better than you thought you would.

    The 'worst case scenario' situation will not happen. This is called catastrophising, and essentially in some cases blowing things out of proportion. I'm so guilty of doing this, I mean I thought that my mum's cough was lung cancer. What was it in reality? Not lung cancer, nowhere near. And again, you can't predict the future, but the 'worst case scenario' is always a figment of your imagination (unless you're an axe murderer).

    What helped me get through the darkest point of my existence?

    Being mindful, and accepting that I can't predict the future. I confess that recently I haven't been practising this as much, but for a couple of weeks I had the strong mindset of living in the present and not trying to speculate about what the future may or may not hold. Doing this really grounds you and will help you realise that your worries are partly, if not all, based off of speculation. Why worry about something that will most likely never happen? This will save you a lot of stress. https://youtu.be/6p_yaNFSYao

    I did what made me happy, distracting myself from the worry. For me, I stopped googling and feeding the worry and distracted myself from it, almost accepting it as just a worry, then getting on with something that I was interested in. For me, I watched a load of YouTube videos and binge watched those pointless, but interesting, "Top 10" videos.

    Turning the negative into a positive.. I know, this is much easier said than done, but in most dark clouds are silver linings. These silver linings are usually pretty easy to find, but the important thing is to focus on that silver lining. Try and view the situation, event, thing in a positive light, whilst accepting that the thing you're worrying about is just a worry, and take that chance to change your ways if you're worrying about something you did wrong in the past, or in whatever situation, view it from a different angle. This may seem impossible, but trust me, it's possible.

    Looking back on past worries. If you use 'mental time travel' for positive purposes, it can be incredibly useful in recognising patterns in your anxiety. In most cases, you'll find that you were just being ridiculous worrying about what you were worrying about and things didn't go as bad as you thought they would. In most cases, these things never happen at all. Then imagine yourself at a point in the future looking back at your current worry, and at this point the worry is over. Just see your what would be past self from above and laugh at yourself, say to yourself "This didn't happen as I thought it would", or "All that time I wasted worrying..". This sort of helped me.

    If you want to, open up about the worry. I opened up to my mum and the chat room on here about what I was obsessing/worrying over. That really helped me because I could almost imagine myself in the situation I was worrying about, and my mum was still there for me, supporting me, and she listened to what I was worrying about. Opening up meant the worry had less power over me.

    I hope this helps some people who are also worrying themselves to death. I'm not here pretending to be an expert, because I'm not, but I just wanted to share what personally helped me quite a lot.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
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    721

    Re: My Experience and Tips

    I like these. Thank you.
    Sometimes, I think that adults with HA are merely people with overactive imaginations.
    How many of you were scared of crazy things (monsters under the bed, etc) as children?
    I think that we can IMAGINE the worst possible outcome (ie, catastophize) so clearly, that it actually seems real and likely to us.
    We ought to turn our considerable imaginations to imagining the best possible outcome. What could it hurt? What is going to happen is going to happen regardless, and think of all the anguish it would spare us.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    4,318

    Re: My Experience and Tips

    Thanks for the update Toby, I often wonder how you are doing.

    Can I just say that I am amazed by what you have done.

    I remember the days of you constantly obsessing over your mum having lung cancer and tbh I didn't know how to help you think differently.

    Did you get proper help to show you how to change your thinking?

    Finally you have no idea how pleased I am to hear that things are looking up for you.

    Loads of love

    Elen

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    5,176

    Re: My Experience and Tips

    This is a great post and I am really glad to read your story. I hope others take a look and really apply some of these tips.

    Good for you for doing the hard work and feeling better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    3,298

    Re: My Experience and Tips

    A lovely positive post, and as others have said well done for working hard to overcome your fears and for sharing your journey. Long may it continue

    Take care
    ISB ☺ X
    __________________
    Without fear there cannot be courage - Christopher Paolini

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    Re: My Experience and Tips

    Quote Originally Posted by GlassPinata View Post
    I like these. Thank you.
    Sometimes, I think that adults with HA are merely people with overactive imaginations.
    How many of you were scared of crazy things (monsters under the bed, etc) as children?
    I think that we can IMAGINE the worst possible outcome (ie, catastophize) so clearly, that it actually seems real and likely to us.
    We ought to turn our considerable imaginations to imagining the best possible outcome. What could it hurt? What is going to happen is going to happen regardless, and think of all the anguish it would spare us.
    Thanks, I totally agree tbh. The situation is never as bad as we think it is, and most of the time it never even happens at all. I calculated it, and 936 days of my life I've spent worrying about things that have never happened/weren't as bad as I thought.

    ---------- Post added at 23:18 ---------- Previous post was at 23:09 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Elen View Post
    Thanks for the update Toby, I often wonder how you are doing.

    Can I just say that I am amazed by what you have done.

    I remember the days of you constantly obsessing over your mum having lung cancer and tbh I didn't know how to help you think differently.

    Did you get proper help to show you how to change your thinking?

    Finally you have no idea how pleased I am to hear that things are looking up for you.

    Loads of love

    Elen
    Thanks so much, Elen.

    I honestly don't think therapy helped me all that much, I actually wasn't all into it so I don't think I got the most I could from it. What sort of helped me was myself at the end of the day, I told myself for a while that what I worry about will likely never actually happen and that I've wasted so much time ruminating and obsessing over things that I shouldn't have put under so much scrutiny, so I decided for a while just to stay present with this in mind. Right now I've kinda fallen out of that mindset and am back on the worry road I guess, but I just really need to collect myself again because I have my GCSEs in like 3 months and I haven't revised enough so far because of my anxiety and obsessive thoughts. It's just way easier said than done I suppose.

    ---------- Post added at 23:19 ---------- Previous post was at 23:18 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by I still Believe View Post
    A lovely positive post, and as others have said well done for working hard to overcome your fears and for sharing your journey. Long may it continue

    Take care
    ISB ☺ X
    Thanks!

    ---------- Post added at 23:19 ---------- Previous post was at 23:19 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by swgrl09 View Post
    This is a great post and I am really glad to read your story. I hope others take a look and really apply some of these tips.

    Good for you for doing the hard work and feeling better.
    Thanks so much.

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