Leukemia

[ww1399]

Hi there. Mostly writing this here for 2 reasons:
1. So I can look back to this when I have a panic attack
2. To see if others here have dealt with the same thing.

I have had a fear of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia for a few months now. My health anxiety went from Hodgkin's lymphoma to ALL. I have ONE symptom of this disease which is fatigue (also a symptom of literally EVERYTHING else, including anxiety and depression). No easy bleeding or bruising, no infections, no pallor, no fevers, no horrible night sweats, no weight loss etc. yet I still can't get this disease out of my head. And, on top of that, this disease progresses quickly if it's not treated... I've been fatigued for an entire year which is reason enough to believe that the tiredness isn't related to leukemia.

Have you ever thought you had a disease even though you had virtually no symptoms of it at that time? Or am I crazy?

[axolotl]

I think you've adequately told yourself why you don't need to worry there!

I once convinced myself for a short time I may have leukemia just because I had a big bruise somewhere I didn't remember bashing. We all latch on to daft things based on little evidence sometimes. But it sounds like you've got a good logical mind poking through the fog of panic there and keep hold of it!

[PASchoolSyndrome]

You do sound pretty logical but anxiety brain has got you latched on to something. Hate it when it does that! We're all crazy and I personally do it all the time.. Then I worry that by me obsessing over the disease I'll give it to myself! What a nut.

You'd get sick real fast, not "a couple of months". Its called ACUTE for a reason. Best of luck getting your brain to get over this! (:

[GlassPinata]

Hi there. Mostly writing this here for 2 reasons:
1. So I can look back to this when I have a panic attack
2. To see if others here have dealt with the same thing.

I have had a fear of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia for a few months now. My health anxiety went from Hodgkin's lymphoma to ALL. I have ONE symptom of this disease which is fatigue (also a symptom of literally EVERYTHING else, including anxiety and depression). No easy bleeding or bruising, no infections, no pallor, no fevers, no horrible night sweats, no weight loss etc. yet I still can't get this disease out of my head. And, on top of that, this disease progresses quickly if it's not treated... I've been fatigued for an entire year which is reason enough to believe that the tiredness isn't related to leukemia.

Have you ever thought you had a disease even though you had virtually no symptoms of it at that time? Or am I crazy?

Yes, and then I start thinking, "Well, why would I be so focused on this disease if I DIDN'T have it?"
It's like my subconscious- or the universe- is trying to tell me something, because this recurring thought that I have ____ disease keeps popping into my head.
But you know what? I never had ANY of the diseases that I was convinced i had. And this nonsense has been going on pretty much constantly for the past 25 years.
So at this point, I'm trying to identify and reject any magical thinking (as in thinking, "I must have this disease, since i can't quit worrying about having this disease"). I am not a doctor, my subconscious doesn't have any particular wisdom to offer in regard to my health, and the universe isn't beaming secret messages into my head.
I focus on a particular disease because I read about it somewhere and then latched onto it, because i suffer from health anxiety. It is nothing more than that.
Fatigue is a symptom of nearly EVERY disease. It's also a common symptom of having NO disease and being perfectly healthy, but tired. Stress and anxiety can make you tired and fatigued, even if you are not suffering from any physical disease.
I wish you well; it is up to you- just as it is up to each one of us- to reject what your anxiety is telling you. Anyone who believed they might be suffering from a life-threatening cancer would feel "fatigued". It is a terrible thought to have, and when it is recurrent, it is bound to wear you out and make you tired and discouraged, even depressed.
You are okay. Fight these thoughts. You're not alone, there are many of us fighting this same battle.

Best wishes.