Hey everyone,
It's been a few years now since I posted here! I am now 22 years old and between the ages of about 14 and 19 I suffered from the most crippling panic disorder, agoraphobia, suicide OCD, harm OCD and existential OCD. After going on citalopram (20mg) I was able to start university and my recovery was utterly incredible, to the point where I even spent a year living abroad in France with absolutely no problem. In August I began to try to reduce my dose, and the doctor told me to alternate between 20mg and 10mg each day. This had seemed to be fine for several months until a few weeks ago, when the anxiety, panic and OCD thoughts returned at the click of a finger.
I have no idea why this has come back to haunt me, but I'm doing everything to keep going on with my life. What's strange to me is that I can't really work out what my major fear is; I know my thoughts aren't going to kill me, I know I won't kill myself and I know I won't kill someone else, so why are these thoughts constantly plaguing me? The most troublesome thing for me though, is that I just don't feel like the same person I did a few weeks ago, the world and life itself just don't seem to make sense to me at the moment. Is it just the thoughts going round in my mind and constant analysis of them that is causing me to feel this way? Things just look wrong to me at the moment!
Any advice or comments very welcome!
Jack
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