Help me get my life back

[MikeGR]

Hello guys... First of all I am really sorry if I am making this topic in a wrong section, I thought this one was the most appropriate.
Also please forgive any English mistakes, it's not my native language
I think I'm gonna include a TLDR version!

My name is Michael, I am from Greece and I'm 26 years old. My story starts in the summer of 2015 when after 16 hours of work (security guard at a mall, worked double shift because everyone was sick) I had my first panic attack.
I came home after work and it was steaming hot. I barely drank any water that day and I thought, OK, I'm tired... However I started having trouble breathing. At first I ignored it. But then it got worse and I really scared I was gonna pass out... I called my father (who is a doctor btw) and he came to my house and drove me to the ER only to find out that it was dehydration.

Since then my life is hell. For 3 months after that I was scared to death. Everytime I thought my breathing was not normal I started to panic.

Long story short I was prescribed Cipralex from my therapist. First week was hell, anxiety was doubled but he also gave me Xanax to take until Cipralex started working. Sure enough, Cipralex eventually started working and anxiety was tolerable.
However I also had another symptom: 24/7 dizziness. I knew I had issues with my ears so I went to my ENT and did a lot of tests but he told me that apart from my usual problem, there is nothing causing the dizziness.

Then I went to a neurologist. All good.
Then I went to an eye doctor. All good.
Then I did blood tests. All good, no hyperthyroidism or diabetes or anything.
Then I did an MRI in ears and head, nothing whatsoever.

Two years later and although my anxiety and my panic attacks happen a lot less than before, I have some other issues and my 24/7 light-headedness is still here.

The last 3 months I am experiencing random hot flushes in my head and neck. I always think I have a fever and -of course- the anxiety kicks in and so on...
I also have days with extreme nausea, although I rarely vomit.

My friends and family tell me that EVERYTHING is psychosomatic and everytime I want to go to a doctor to get examined and find nothing it gets worse and I get demoralised.
I know that a lot of things are anxiety related and I cause harm to myself thinking "Oh I have this, I have that" but I can't help it.

Friends call me to parties, bars, etc. but as soon as I go out , I get really uneasy, thinking "I have to go home NOW". This leads to many friends never calling back and of course me being alone...

I don't know if any of you managed to read this novel I just wrote. I just wanted to talk, to let some things out of my chest.
If anyone cares to share an opinion I'm all ears.

Thank you for your patience!

[Ljj44577]

That was a lot. It really shows me how anxiety can be horrible. It feels good to know that others are going through anxiety problems. Back in the summer of 2015, I was having some bad health anxiety. I was worried that I had HIV even though I didn't do the risk factors. It was a very unpleasant situation. It took time for the anxiety to go away. The anxiety would eat me up. Even though I didn't have HIV, it was hard for me not to worry.

[Reggie]

I think when someone has experienced a panic attack, completely out of the blue, we become so sensitive to how our body feels. For example, for me, if I feel excited about something (going on holiday, going to a live music event), the adrenaline my body releases because I'm excited, my brain picks up as fearful and makes me anxious about the experience. Adrenaline for being excited and scared is exactly the same and how my brain interprets this adrenaline release is in a negative way (I'm not medically trained and I'm speaking for how I feel personally). I think the anxious person becomes super sensitive to any changes in feelings, health - it's like the event of having a panic attack is so scary, we're on the look out for any changes that might indicate we're having another episode. For me, I've had anxiety for 18 years since a specific event in my life, my anxiety/depression will come and go, but I haven't had a panic attack in several years. Listening to you speak about isolating yourself from people, I do this too, and I don't think it's a helpful thing to do, but it's what the anxious person wants to do, to deal with it alone, have some space. I wish you well, hope you can overcome this, it is possible.

[MikeGR]

Thank you so much for your answers...

Yesterday I went to my GP and she suggested that I switch to Zoloft (50mg) because she believes the constant light headedness is a side effect from Cipralex (lexapro)

Have you guys ever taken Zoloft? I am really scared switching because I remember the first week I took cipralex was a nightmare...

[Bill]

If you really want to get your life back, I honestly believe you can But you really have to Want to regardless of what your fears are telling you and that will take willpower, courage and dtermination. However, I do feel you have those qualities even if you don't think so but at the moment they're being dominated by a lack of confidence caused by your initial panic attack which is the root cause to all your problems.

Just to sum up quickly what you've said, you became dehydrated at work and this together with working 16 hours and it being steaming hot brought on your panic attack. After that episode, your fear of it occurring again made you focus on your breathing. This fear is the driving force of your anxiety so now you're constantly anxious examining every symptom surfaces and when they do, your anxiety immediately compells you to think "what if" you're serious ill and this thinking process has then caused you to visit the doctor and have countless tests performed which have all concluded you're perfectly well other than your anxiety.

You say you can't help yourself but actually you can. It's just the anxiety has taken away your confidence and is now controlling your life. For instance, every time a symptom arises, your anxiety is making you see the doctor but instead of reassuring you, your anxiety just finds another symptom to worry about so it's now controlling your life.

If you read other posts on here, I think you'll find your cycle extremely common. A person will suffer a bad experience which causes panic which frightens them so much into worrying about it happening again that they end up becoming constantly anxious then allowing (through no fault of their own) their worries to continually fuel their anxiety by seeing the doctor to seek reassurance but with no lasting effect.

If you imagine big loops across a screen like a graph, the bottom of the loops are when you feel relaxed and the tops are when your anxiety shoots through the roof. You then seek immediate reassurance and your graph shoots right down again until the next worry surfaces and the loop shoots right back up again. The graph constantly goes up and down. What should be happening is that when the anxiety spikes, it should be allowed to go down gradually which it will in time but at the moment it's not being given a chance so you never de-sensitise yourself.

In other words, you know what caused your original panic and you know you're perfectly well because of all the test that have been done. Therefore, any symptom that arises is most likely to be caused by anxiety such as breathlessness, flushing, nausea etc so when they surface you need to remind yourself that they Are just being caused by your anxiety. Only if the symptoms continue as they are over a long period in one continual spell, might you consider seeing the doctor. In other words, anxiety will cause symptoms and they'll reach a peak but then you need to allow them to pass naturally because they won't actually do anything more to you. For instance, next time you feel breathless, remind yourself it's just anxiety and take control of your mind by focusing on something else. You will find the feelings will pass on their own if you give them a chance. If you sneezed you wouldn't dwell on it and nor should you with anxiety symptoms. It's conquering that first barrier that is key because you'll then start rebuilding your confidence so that each time the symptoms surface, you'll just be saying to yourself, I'm feeling anxious but it'll pass so just ignore them.

There are techniques you can learn but the simplest is probably just taking long slow deep breaths through your nose and out your mouth. That'll control your breathing and stop the symptoms. Practise it.

The other thing is I'm really not convinced about the meds helping much in your case other than to help ease the symptoms by lifting your mood. The reason I say this is that although they can help ease symptoms they can also create symptoms through side-effect and if these side-effects do occur, they'll trigger your mind to start worrying about them which will feed your worry cycle.

My own feeling would be that you know what caused the initial panic, you know the symptoms are being caused anxiety and you know you're perfectly well. Your anxiety is just controlling you to think otherwise so you need to take control back by continually telling yourself it's just anxiety.

You've lost your confidence. It's been taken away from you. If you really want your life back, I honestly believe the power is already within you.

You know the cause of the initial panic.
You know you're perfectly well because of all the tests you've had done.
You know the symptoms are being caused by anxiety. (It's only anxiety making you worry "what if".)
You know to do depp breathing exercises.
You know the symptoms will then pass. (but if it's a new symptom that persists continually for a length of time then see a doctor.)
Read up on anxiety symptoms and if it's listed, treat it as such and ignore it.

You can get your life back...but you need to get it back yourself and perhaps with the help of a therapist who can guide you through the techniques.)