Scared out of my mind

[Brad10]

So two years ago I had a panic attack and ever since than I don't feel like my self I felt like I was on auto pilot for a year and half now that went away I just don't feel like my old self and it's scaring me, but I saw something on ego death and I'm freaked right out I've never done acid or anything like that I don't even drink and I've never had a traumatic experience is this ego death I'm freaking out

[MyNameIsTerry]

What is ego death? I can't say I've ever heard of it which is a red flag to me as it sounds like a sufferers term, which can mean misconceptions.

[Brad10]

People that take acid and lsd can get it idk it's scaring the crap out of me

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well since you've never used those substances, and they weren't the trigger process for your panic attack and resulting symptoms, it can't be that.

This leaves you with the spiritual/mysticism sides of ego death, which I now know what you are talking about since I'm aware of the transcendence in Buddhism. But the thing is, this is a process that takes a he'll of a lot of effort to achieve.

Whereas suffering panic attacks and having DP/DR and various blunted emotions is possible without those substances or the immense effort needed in meditation practice.

I think you need to consider what you mean by "not my old self". I doubt I've met many anxiety sufferers who haven't beaten their anxiety, or made significant gains, that would say they feel their old self either.