* Please help me *

[belle]

I am relasping and in a BAD way too.
I'm unable to do anything right now.
I am unable to go to the shop in which i have been able to do for the last couple of years (ONLY 3 MINUTES AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!).
I am having MAJOR issues getting and taking my son to school. I am having to drive the 20 seconds (i feel so pathetic!)
I am having constant anticipatory anxiety.
I feel like a total loser.
I've tried THREE times today to get to the shop.....and FAILED!
I don't think i can live like this again. I KNOW my husband will definitely leave me if i am relasping.
Please someone offer me some help/advice/anything.
I am becoming fealful of being alone and i am anxious most of the day.

Sarah x

[jo61]

Sarah I'm so sorry you feel this way. Unfortunately with panic/anxiety/depression it seems to be ups and downs. Are you on medication? Maybe you could call on your GP for help. Or do you have family you could talk to? Sorry if I sound patronising, I don't mean to. You have loads of friends on here. Don't despair, you have us to unload your problems on.

Big hugs from me.

Love Jo xx

[Alabasterlyn]

I am relasping and in a BAD way too.
I'm unable to do anything right now.
I am unable to go to the shop in which i have been able to do for the last couple of years (ONLY 3 MINUTES AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!).
I am having MAJOR issues getting and taking my son to school. I am having to drive the 20 seconds (i feel so pathetic!)
I am having constant anticipatory anxiety.
I feel like a total loser.
I've tried THREE times today to get to the shop.....and FAILED!
I don't think i can live like this again. I KNOW my husband will definitely leave me if i am relasping.
Please someone offer me some help/advice/anything.
I am becoming fealful of being alone and i am anxious most of the day.

Sarah x

Sorry to hear how bad you are feeling today, it sounds awful. I'm sorry I'm new here so I don't know if you suffer with agoraphobia or anxiety on it's own, but I think at some point a lot of us have those feelings.

I don't think you are a loser, it takes a lot of strength to cope with the feelings of anxiety.

You didn't fail by not being able to get to the shops either, it's only a failure if you didn't try, but you did try and that means you have inner strength.

Anticipatory anxiety is a really horrible thing to deal with. It sounds to me like you are constantly adding 2nd fear and making yourself even more scared by the constant vicious circle you have managed to create.

Did something happen recently to make things this bad? I would suggest if you don't feel a bit better soon to perhaps talk to your Dr to get some reassurance and advice. I hope you feel better soon.

[yorkylover]

I was like this last summer,I can walk to our local village now but thats it,anywhere else and I have to go with someone.Are you on meds or had any sort of therapy?

[belle]

Hi..
Thanks for responding.

Jo: Thanks. Unfortunately i don't have anyone in my life who i can talk to. I have no friends, my sister isn't interested and i don't talk to her much anyway and my husband just see's me a pathetic and that i should "get a grip". The only person who does care is my mother and she's on holiday, but if i was to tell her i was feeling worse, i would feel guilty for feeling that way.

Alabasterlyn: Yes i am agoraphobic and have been for 9 years. At one point i've been housebound for years, but i started to recover in 2002, but at the moment i can feel myself slipping back into my old ways :(
I have had a couple of scary moments while driving recently (i can only drive a mile, if that alone!!), so i am never far from home. In the past that mile was "just a mile" but now its turned into "Oh my goodness, its a freaking mile".

Ellen: A couple of weeks ago i had a CBT assessment. Sadly i am on the 18 month waiting list. Typical. I had to wait 9 months for my inital appointment. I am not on medication, i have a phobia, which isn't great.

Sarah

[tnt808]

Sarah,

While I am not Agoraphobic I am very sorry you are having a rough time. I only encourage you to continue to try to get out, don't let it get the best of you. You know what it is to recover, that's gotta be the best feeling! I am sorry that your husband doesn't understand you...a shame really. Do you think that might add to your anxiety?

I hope you fight this thing off.

[SANDYJANE]

hi sarah....

so sorry your having a hard time at the mo, u know where iam if u need a chat as like you know i have noone .

love sandy xx

[little mutt]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. Please keep trying and don't give up. When you try to go to the shop give youself a little talking to before you go. I used to give myself permission to feel anxious, I would say to myself, ' Ok I'm going to try to get to the shop, it's going to make me feel anxious because I'm scared of going out but it's ok for me to feel this way. Try to accept that while you are walking to the shop you might feel anxious but it is fine to feel like that. Also try not to feel bad if you don't make it, I used to say to myself, ' I will try to go into the shop but if I don't make it today then I WILL try again tomorrow,' I found that taking the pressure off myself made it easier and more often that not I would be able to enter the shop on the first attempt because I would keep reminding myself that I could leave and go back home whenever I wished to.Taking the pressure off ourselves makes it a whole lot easier to do the things we find most difficult. I wish you the very best of luck.
Keep smiling

[honeybee]

hi hunny...

oh hun, i think the important thing to remember is that you've gotten through it before... as you said up until 2002 you were housebound,

it seems you have so much added pressure not to be anxious (by being so you believe your husband will leave you) that that alone is probably making things worse... you've mentioned your relationship a few time recently and i wonder if you're happy??? ive been thinking about your situation lately (dont mean to sound stalkery but out of all the people on here your situation is the one i relate to most) and wondering if maybe the pressure you feel from your family is maybe just adding to your anxiety???
ive kinda been in the same situation today... ive been feeling increasing depressed recently (something which is completely out of character) and i kinda hit rock bottom today, i completely broke down and my boyfriends response was that "i was just having one of those days" or that "i just needed to pull myself together", when i mentioned the possibility of anti depressants he basically said he'd finish with me cos he didnt want to be going out with a zombie... i do understand where hes coming from but i expected support - not to be put down... i did say to him that if getting better meant having to take meds and finish with him then i would cos i'd rather be with someone who supported me anyway... luckily we talked through it and sorted it out... im not exactly sure what my point is and i dont know the answers but i wanna let you know that i do understand...

as for getting your son to school... dont worry... no parent can be perfect all the time... is there a neighbour that can take him - or walk with you???

this will be just a blip and you will get through it hun...

if you ever need anything you can always PM me...

[weepinky]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry things are bad at present but you know things have improved before and they WILL again, have you tried the free CBT course on the useful links section???? this may get you going again while on the waiting list??

Take Care and be good to yourself xx

Luv Pinky