* Please help me *

[den42]

hi sarah
im agoraphobic have been many years, i do manage to get out with friends coming with me to the supermarket and doc's etc and i went to the meet-up on sunday that was the farthest i had been in 5years, last december we moved into our house , i knew before i moved in i was'nt going to be well, the anxiety i felt was terrifying, i cried so much all because of anticipatory anxiety, when my partner went to work i went to my mom's house which is only down the road from me,but he had to follow me there every morning as i was sure i wouldnt make it , i couldnt come back to the house on my own, it took me till middle of january to finally do it, i just got in the car with my dog and said to myself "well if its going to happen then bring it on i'm not going to be scared to stay in my own house anymore" now dont get me wrong ,i phoned people if i felt funny, i had the telly on in one room, the telly on in another and the radio on upstairs so that where ever i went there was noise, now i can stay in my house and im not afraid ( oh and i did get the relaxation tapes out even though at times my concentration was'nt good i persevered with it and it does help)sorry to ramble on a bit but if you ever need to talk then pm me anytime and please try not to worry about what others might or might not be thinking, if you cant do something today then just try tomorrow, but remember what ever you attempt to do your not failing if you dont reach that point you've set yourself, always say well i tried ok i didnt get there today but the next time i'll try a bit further, i do know how your feeling sarah as i was at that point just a few months ago and i very much feel for you, take one day at a time and see how you go
take care
denise

[darkangel]

Hi sarah
Im so sorry to hear that you are having a bad time just now. Although its awful and you feel so anxious just now remember that you have came through this before, you have overcame this and will do so again. The reason I know this, Ive been living with anxiety and panic and agaoraphobic for 10 years now and like you was doing really well. But I too am in setback just now and its an awful feeling. Like me you probably feel like you are back at square one and are over analysing and thinking you cant cope. But you can and so will I. Coming on here and talking about how you feel helps (Im not able to open up and ask for help, so that is a strength you have) - and give yourself some time and dont be so hard on yourself.
Im coping by trying to accept the feelings and let them pass (although I admit I am using avoidance again and running back home to safety again or just not going out) but Im doing lots of good things for me (massage aromatherapy oils, nice baths, practice abdominal breathing. Anything to distract (sudoku, wordsearches, search through ebay, etc).
Sarah, keep positive and give yourself a HUGE big pat on the back for what you are able to do just now.
Hugs to you and I pray that tomorrow will be a better day for us both
Luv Darkangel x

[nomorepanic]

Small steps - one a time.

Set a goal and JFDI it.

You know you can and it will be hard but you will be glad you did.

[belle]

Relapsing absolutely terrifies me more than anything. I know i've come a long long way from being scared to go upstairs in my house, but i now recall how easy it was to get that bad. You do just about everything you can so you don't have to experience those feelings and that is what bothers me!

......BUT.....today......is a wee different story.
(I read my messages just before i decided to JFDI, thanks Nicola!!!!!!!!)

I left the house at 8.30am and went to the shop and got the few bits i needed yesterday. Okay, so i had my little man with me, but to be honest, what is he going to do in an emergency?....lol I got back home too early to drop Stinky off at school, so i dropped my things back and we walked. YES, today i WALKED! I timed myself too. It took 4m 49 to get to the school, then i waited for 5m 27 and walking home 5m 47 and that is taking the longer route as well!

I am a little happier today.

Thank you so much for all your kind words. Is amazing how "letting it all go" to people that understand really does help!

THANKS..

Sarah x

[neptuno]

Hello Sarah !
Relapses are truly frightening because you fear that it will happen. Its not surprising that it does when we're still fearing panic. This is when we need to cram up on all the coping techniques and info we have stashed away. Get them out, dust them off, and start usung them. Don't feel guilty because you're having a tough time, its not your fault. These things happen. But the really good news it that you've gotten through it before and you CAN DO IT AGAIN. OK ? You're safe and secure so be kind to yourself

[honeybee]

well done you... thanks great... im so glad you decided to JFDI instead on just sit there and think about it... well done hun... loadsa hugs

[Karen]

Well done Sarah. I am very proud of you

The fear is what keeps us all trapped in our various anxieties and worries. This is a blip and you have already shown that you didn't fall back to how low things were originally. You have learnt too much to go back to square one - all we can do is keep moving forward.

Keep going Sarah. Little steps

Karen xx

[belle]

Thank you so much

...it was ALL good this morning, but sadly this afternoon, it went all wrong again. I am SO sh*t.

Sarah

[KLK1107]

Sarah... I know exactly what you are going through and it sucks big time!.. I just began to relapse with my panic disorder recently and it has caused me to become a bit agoraphobic! I get a panic attack EVERY single morning and I can't take it... my fiance is very understanding, but I am sure it bothers him that he has to constantly try and help me through each one and sometimes take me for what we call "panic drives".. I used to go out to lunch with my mom everyday, and lately I just can't... I can't do anything before like 2:00 and sometimes even then I can't... and then there's those days where I am all nervous and all because I have nothing to do... I just can't win...

Like everyone else said, the important thing you need to think about is that you have gotten through it before and that's something to be admired for!... I hope everything gets better with you... just keep telling yourself that it will pass! good luck!

[batchelor]

This may work- it does for me- and I too get terrible relapses, cant go on the motorway, or be a passenger , cant eat at other peoples houses, all daft stuff I know.
Anyway- the Instant things that work for me are :
Go and put some different clothes on.
Pretend to be someone you admire. Keep the image in your head and act the part in the mirror. Could be a celebrity (or just an old school friend!) Think through how they would go to the shops.
Choose a powerful perfume/handcream/teatree oil, nice and healing - which will keep reminding you that you are a strong person really and that you would do anything to protect your son if there was a crisis.
Take a "nice thing" in your pocket and keep holding on to it for reasurance, its going to work like a child holding a safe persons hand. I take one of my mothers hankies whenever I feel scared, with a dab of perfume on it. No-one knows its my "lucky" survival tool! (My Mum died and I am so grateful that no-one else wanted her hankies!
I told someone only last night of my anxiety attacks, and guess what - she gets them too ! I would never ever have imagined it. We reckoned that they started properly when we had had children. I know I had occasional problems as a child, and forgot it, but then years later with a constantly crying baby, it got to me, and bingo! Here I am trying to say to you, that its not really as bad as you think, (you have done fantastic things in your life -you have had a child!) Thats the best thing in the world! You have come a long way already! and this is just a temporary set back, and you will always have some good and some bad days. I will think of you today. Love xx