Feeling hopeless - words of encouragement needed!

[PixieP]

I've been suffering with GAD for almost 6 months now and really don't know how much longer I can cope. I had GAD on and off for most of 2014 but then had an 18 month period of calm again. I thought that was it but no! To cut a long story short, a series of stressful events led to the anxiety creeping back in until it completely took over again and for most of the past 6 months I have felt intense anxiety both mentally and physically all day every day. When I tell you that I've been at work every day, some people may think it can't be that bad but truthfully it's horrendous. The reason I'm forcing myself in every day is because last time I got signed off work and ended up becoming agoraphobic, didn't want to see anyone and just got progressively worse.I finally forced myself back to work after 6 weeks and it took another few months before I started to feel better when I found a medication that helped but by that time all I was anxious about was feeling anxious.
This time I have so many negative thoughts flying around my head and no medication has had any lasting effect on my physical or mental symptoms. I just feel at rock bottom right now and just need a listening ear as, with the best will in the world, my husband just does not understand how I feel.
I've now been referred to the community mental health team and had a call today to say they will be in touch next week with a care plan, whatever that means. I assumed that I would have a meeting with someone but posibly not?
I really don't want to keep taking medication that's not helping me and I really want to be able to follow all the advice that says just accept that it's anxiety and can't hurt me etc. I know all of this but despite "carrying on as normal" every day seems as bad or worse than the one before.I'm not sleeping more than about 5 hours at night and just feel permanently exhausted.
Just need some words of encouragement and would also like to hear any experiences others may have had of overcoming anxiety without or with minimal medication. I'm not averse to taking medication but after 6 different ADs I just feel like a guinea pig.
Sorry for the moping post but feel so low right now.

[snowghost57]

I got a chuckle out of your comment, "after 6 different ADs, I feel like a guinea pig" I did the medication train years ago. After a melt down a month ago I tried Zoloft again. I was determined to stick it out this time as I usually give up after 3 days. Never again! Twenty days of side effects, I was done!

The medication did stop the negative flying thoughts. I did read Bill's post on the GAD thread, Anxiety is a symptom. I encourage you to read it.

As I learned more about anxiety I realize it is a FEAR. (I'm using caps as an emphasis, not to be yelling)

Experts explain it as a fear of panic attacks. I only had 3 panic attacks as I let my anxiety take control over my thoughts. My FEAR was from worry, trying to be prepared for the future so I would not make mistake and embarrass myself or look foolish. We as humans, the number one thing we want in life is to be accepted. This is why young girls and boys wear the same clothes, to "fit in" with the crowd. We fear if we are different we will not be accepted by the "flock". This is what anxiety did to me.

I have to decided to face my fears head on. Sure, I still want to rush around sometimes, multi-task or experience heart palpitations. So I stop myself, breath and center my thinking. Yes, it's time consuming and its a constant process. I am only on day three of no medication. After went I went through with side effects I am determine to beat anxiety without them. I am starting to feel more like myself just with out the spinning thoughts in my head. I hope to continue on this path.

I hope my post provides you with some help. It's working for me. Take care of yourself!

[crystal17]

I don't have any advice, all I can offer is empathy and understanding. You're not alone with this, I know it's getting you down constantly, I know it's exhausting and I know life used to be fun but something doesn't feel right now.

I would never judge anyone with anxiety and pick apart bits of their life by saying "Oh well they work so they must be fine" etc...I know that we have to just to what we can to get through and to survive. And someone can appear absolutely fine in some situations, anxiety sufferers don't show their fears outwardly every moment of every day.

I know it's hard when your partner doesn't understand :( I feel that too, and I also know my family and the few friends I have are sick of me. And I get what you say about medication, it can feel like you're experimenting on your brain.

I think you'll be seen by your local mental health team, probably a psychiatric nurse first and you'll get a chance to explain what it's like for you - this is what I'm going through now but it may be different in other areas. Big hugs x

[Bill]

I can understand your fears of taking sick leave and ending up feeling trapped at home and I can understand how stressed you feel at work too so if you're able, how about going out for the day, going away for the weekend or taking a few days off work with your husband to chill out by the sea or at a hotel in the countryside?

It'll ease the stress, take you away from things and help to stop you focusing on the negative thoughts that are being created by all your past and present stresses. If you can ease your stress and focus your mind on enjoyable things, you won't feel so mentally and physically exhausted and you'll sleep better too. We all need a break sometimes and perhaps you're taking on more than you can cope with at present. You need to escape for a short while so you don't feel so trapped and I'm sure it'll help.