Seeking reassurance - Sorry!

[Mango2]

I know this isn't a medical forum and that I shouldn't be seeking reassurance, but I just want an opinion on this...

Sorry for the looong post....!
If you want you can skip the first couple of paragraphs as it only concerns my history with anxiety. But none the less I feel it might be relevant..

I've been suffereing for anxiety for the last 10 years. Been diagnosed as a GAD sufferer but the "base" anxiety for me is health anxiety. 10 years ago, after a stressful period when lots of (generally positive) things were going on, I started having bodily symptoms that made me think about the fact that I'm not immortal. I guess you could call it my first age crisis.
As I had no experience of serious illness before, I was convinced that every single one of the symptoms I experienced back then were serious and would lead to an all to early death. I even told my wife, and later even a doctor that I believed that I had 6 months left to live, despite several doctors reassuring me that I was in perfect physical health. The symptoms I had shifted round, starting with a mild and dull ache in my groin making me believe that I had first MS, then cancer. Of the cancers I thought I first had testicular cancer, and then bowel cancer.
Symptoms shifted and I became obsessed with my lymph nodes and I constantly checked and rechecked the size of them over and over.
With my anxiety really high at this stage I started having scary "feelings of unreality" and I thought I was a gonner there... after that these feelings subsided and shifted into slight tingling on the right side of my body and what I perceived as a heaviness on that side.
After more or less having an emotional breakdown I was prescribed anti-depressants and I started to finally get out of the dark woods.
Since then my life has gone on, but periods of anxiety have struck, but thanks to my experience I've managed to recover relatively quickly.

Sorry for the long intro, I guess thats my story with anxiety.
My status right now is after 2 years of complete stability, I decided to taper down on my ADs in an effort to quit altogether.
Stupidly enough, and this was almost exactly a year ago from now, I also decided to take leave of my job and go back to university so as to finally, after 20 years, finish my degree.

Of course the last year has been rocky, and I've had a couple of bouts with anxiety. After giving up on ADs for about a month, I restarted them again as I was feeling to unwell.
The symptoms I've had have mainly consisted of throat tension and globus, a period of an irritated bladder (during a very important examperiod) and now, I've come down with tingling in hands and feet.

Anyway, I've ranted on here... but the thing is, I'm really scared that I've now got MS as I made the mistake of googling my tingling (a lot) and EVERYTHING points to MS.

The thing is though, I'm starting to think rationally after a week of anguise and anxiety that is starting to peak (I can't sleep at night, I feel depressed and scared, and it is really interfering with my studies).
Whenever I relax, for instance via guided meditation the symptoms disappear. Or if I get my shoulders massaged.
Also yesterday I was out walking and there was a beautiful spring sunset (rather unusual in my country, Sweden, as for the most part water is the only thing that comes from the sky here, either in a wet state or a frozen state.) It was so relaxing and the air was springy warm, that I didn't feel any symptoms at all.
It's really only when I sit down in my sofa that I feel the tingling.
It's also very mild, like small pricks. Lasts for about 30 seconds, goes away for 2 minutes then pops up again...
Also, if I breathe deeply and slowly with my belly, it goes away...

So I'm thinking, do MS symptoms really go away when relaxing and when one breathes deeply??
Or, considering my history, COULD THIS BE ANXIETY???

[pablo0977]

It's pointless to google. Web MD once told me I was pregnant. Other than being a man, it fit my symptoms perfectly. You sound like this has really gotten a hold of you. Is this episodic throughout your life or a constant? It might help to put your favorite new age album on and try to trace backwards through the scares and symptoms to find where this began. My recent debacle all started with a baker's cyst I thought was cancer. Five months later, the knee has been diagnosed and now I am worried about degenerative neurological conditions based on symptoms brought on by anxiety over the knee. It all started with that damn left knee.

[Mango2]

Well I guess you could say it's been episodic the last 10 yrs. It's really since I've realised I'm a grown adult with responsibility.
When I was younger I always had my parents to fall back on if I was worried. They would always be the ones who stood for all the reassurance in my life.
Now, as I too am an adult and know as much, if not more, than my parents (thanks to the internet) I have to fix my own problems, that coupled with slightly low self esteem makes it hard for me sometimes to stay optimistic when faced with "dangers".

Yeah, the internet is a problem with me.
It just started for me looking for information on pinched nerves, and I ran into MS..
6-8 hours later of googling I turned into a wreck.
The problem with MS for me, is that there are so many symptoms that fit it...

[Scared2bme]

Several years ago I had every single symptom of MS there was. I mean every one. Not exaggerating. There is NO way I thought I could ever have that many symptoms and it not be that. You couldn't have talked me out of it. I cried for weeks. Acted like I had the disease well before I even went to the doctor and the symptoms just got worse and more pronounced. I mean it was one of my worst health anxiety episodes. I got an MRI by a neurologist and had to wait one week for results. I spent that week in HELL. I mean it was horrendous the way I felt. Yeah I didn't have it. How is that even possible I wondered. If you focus too much on one symptom it becomes worse. And then we just talk ourselves into it and it's a repetitive cycle.

My next health scare period was ALS. That was way worse than the MS. I remember contemplating suicide because I couldn't deal with the agony anymore. Again, had every single symptom I googled. I remember one night just looking out the window while it was raining and thinking about just ending it all. Because I was suffering so much emotionally.


My next episode was heart related. You can imagine how that went. Pretty awful also.

There have been so many episodes. I very seldom get long term relief. I'm in one now with stomach issues and fears.

Our minds create and exacerbate these symptoms we google. I just want you to realize you're probably just fine even though you don't feel like it. But you're def not alone. One step forward. Two steps back. Keep moving on. God bless

[Mango2]

Thank you for your reassuring words.

One question, did your symptoms come out of the blue? Or was something going on in your life that was stressful or demanding before it all happended?

-----

Scared2bMe, I'm sorry I didn't reply to your post more fully. The last couple of weeks I've been so high strung that I can't focus much..
You're very brave, as many of us anxious people are, constantly having to face our fears, which in fact are real symptoms that we interpret as fatal illnesses.
You had feelings of wanting to end it all but you chose to keep fighting proving just how brave you are. It's not uncommon for anxiety to turn into depression, and I would like to say, its two sides of the same coin. Anxiety is such a suffocating feeling..

[Mango2]

After being certain that I have MS, I've finally started to calm down a bit. I'm not entirely convinced I don't have it or some other similar illness, but after reading archived posts about MS here on this forum, I'm starting to believe that the symptoms I have probably are not caused by it.
I read a lot of posts by a member here who I don't think is active here anymore, Serenity1990. He suffered from severe MS health anxiety and managed to research a great deal on the symptoms and has written very many good posts to people on here that have been afraid that they might have it.
I hope Serenity has found peace of mind and has managed to move on.

I still have tingling in my feet and hands, mostly the left foot and hand, and it comes and goes through out the day. Another thing that has showed up is that whenever I've taking a long walk (usually I don't feel the tingling when I walk), when I get home my feet feel really hot. My left ring finger sometimes starts to itch, as do my feet and calfs. Sometimes the tip of my nose itches, as if a small insect has landed on it. Also been feeling very tired and slightly nauseaus.
I just have such a hard time believing that these symptoms are caused by anxiety.
I called my local GP and explained my symptoms. With the Swedish NHS being as it is, the nurse I talked to said my symptoms weren't serious enough to get an immediate appointment, and I'm not seeing a doctor until the end of April..

Anyway, I've started to wean down my intake of coffee, and I plan to quit completely in a couple of months. I already notice an improvement in my symptoms when I drink less coffee.

[WoodChucker]

I know this isn't a medical forum and that I shouldn't be seeking reassurance, but I just want an opinion on this...

Sorry for the looong post....!
If you want you can skip the first couple of paragraphs as it only concerns my history with anxiety. But none the less I feel it might be relevant..

I've been suffereing for anxiety for the last 10 years. Been diagnosed as a GAD sufferer but the "base" anxiety for me is health anxiety. 10 years ago, after a stressful period when lots of (generally positive) things were going on, I started having bodily symptoms that made me think about the fact that I'm not immortal. I guess you could call it my first age crisis.
As I had no experience of serious illness before, I was convinced that every single one of the symptoms I experienced back then were serious and would lead to an all to early death. I even told my wife, and later even a doctor that I believed that I had 6 months left to live, despite several doctors reassuring me that I was in perfect physical health. The symptoms I had shifted round, starting with a mild and dull ache in my groin making me believe that I had first MS, then cancer. Of the cancers I thought I first had testicular cancer, and then bowel cancer.
Symptoms shifted and I became obsessed with my lymph nodes and I constantly checked and rechecked the size of them over and over.
With my anxiety really high at this stage I started having scary "feelings of unreality" and I thought I was a gonner there... after that these feelings subsided and shifted into slight tingling on the right side of my body and what I perceived as a heaviness on that side.
After more or less having an emotional breakdown I was prescribed anti-depressants and I started to finally get out of the dark woods.
Since then my life has gone on, but periods of anxiety have struck, but thanks to my experience I've managed to recover relatively quickly.

Sorry for the long intro, I guess thats my story with anxiety.
My status right now is after 2 years of complete stability, I decided to taper down on my ADs in an effort to quit altogether.
Stupidly enough, and this was almost exactly a year ago from now, I also decided to take leave of my job and go back to university so as to finally, after 20 years, finish my degree.

Of course the last year has been rocky, and I've had a couple of bouts with anxiety. After giving up on ADs for about a month, I restarted them again as I was feeling to unwell.
The symptoms I've had have mainly consisted of throat tension and globus, a period of an irritated bladder (during a very important examperiod) and now, I've come down with tingling in hands and feet.

Anyway, I've ranted on here... but the thing is, I'm really scared that I've now got MS as I made the mistake of googling my tingling (a lot) and EVERYTHING points to MS.

The thing is though, I'm starting to think rationally after a week of anguise and anxiety that is starting to peak (I can't sleep at night, I feel depressed and scared, and it is really interfering with my studies).
Whenever I relax, for instance via guided meditation the symptoms disappear. Or if I get my shoulders massaged.
Also yesterday I was out walking and there was a beautiful spring sunset (rather unusual in my country, Sweden, as for the most part water is the only thing that comes from the sky here, either in a wet state or a frozen state.) It was so relaxing and the air was springy warm, that I didn't feel any symptoms at all.
It's really only when I sit down in my sofa that I feel the tingling.
It's also very mild, like small pricks. Lasts for about 30 seconds, goes away for 2 minutes then pops up again...
Also, if I breathe deeply and slowly with my belly, it goes away...

So I'm thinking, do MS symptoms really go away when relaxing and when one breathes deeply??
Or, considering my history, COULD THIS BE ANXIETY???

You might be hyperventilating. I've had exactly the same and at the moment I got my breath under control the symptoms would just disappear.

[cw75]

I am in this same cycle....absolutely convinced I have bone cancer. A month ago stomach cancer and so on and so on. With my current panic of bone cancer which started with a weird muscle indentation and slight bulge/lump the leg i have been obsessing about has started aching periodically or feels like it's buzzing. I notice it all day long. I just got blood work done and an MRI scheduled for Friday as referred by my doctor (private insurance in the US). My doctor said she does not think it cancer and isnt overly concerned but she must have some concern since she ordered an MRI. I am a complete mess and can't believe I will have any normal results from this. I am so not looking forward to waiting for the test results or hearing back to quickly. I have told my fiancee that we should push up wedding date since I may not be around much longer. I know the type of cancer I think it may be is very rare but my mind just says well someone has to get it might as well be me. Ugh it's such a terrible mindset! Meditation and mindfulness helps somewhat but during these extreme health panic times it's so hard to focus on anything else. We become so focused on the part of the body we feel is affected by illness and it then becomes so we sensitive to all those read symptoms. I hope this post finds you all feeling better today.

[Mango2]

@Woodchucker Yeah I've been trying breathing exercises and I think they have effect. I really feels as though the tingling disappears temporarily. I guess that would indicate that it's not MS.. They still come back though

@cw75 I know what your going through. Just to explain how I work, a couple of months ago I was in my car and I noticed a "bump" or "lump" on my left thigh, and I tell you, when I felt it I nearly threw up in the car. I drove home and googled and naturally I found cancer, and a new fancy word called "sarcoma".
Eventually I realised it was one of the muscles in my thigh that was more noticable as my leg was in another position whilst sitting in my car.
Nevertheless I still had a hard time believing that it really was a muscle, so I continued to self examine my leg so much that I started to get a bruise on my leg..
Sorry to here what your going through. I have this theory of mine that the medical industry in US differs from the one we have in Sweden.
I notice that a lot of people on this forum have had MRIs and are very often referred to specialists whenever symptoms show up. I might be wrong, but the fact that your doctor wants to give you an MRI, could it be because they make money out of it? I'm thinking that if the hospital orders an MRI then they can later bill the insurance company.
In my country, where health insurance is funded by tax money, all hospitals are tightly regulated and doctors only refer MRIs or to specialists if there is a genuine suspician of illness. Here the hospitals lose money if they do to many specialized examinations. The downside of "my" system is that we have very long queues, and even going to the local GP, as in my case, will take 4 weeks before you get to see a doctor.
To summarize, probably your doctor only wants to be on the really safe side, and also make an extra profit by sending you to an MRI.
Don't worry, bone cancer is extremely rare especially fo someone of your age (as I presume your not over sixty). I wouldn't cancel the wedding, as the distraction that it offers, will do you good and might even make you forget about your current health woes. (And who knows, maybe the wedding and all the stress involved with it has triggered your current anxiety? In that case thats perfectly normal)

Otherwise, my tingling has now gone over to itching. My hands, especially the fingers itch, as do my lower legs. Sometimes the tip of my nose itches and also my calf. Still thinking this might be MS...

[Mango2]

Well I went to the doctor yesterday about my tingling.
I've been caught in a "no-win scenario" concerning this. On the one hand I've feared the doctor finding troubeling symptoms and referring me to a neurologist, which would worry me during the 5 month wait for my visit.
On the other hand I've been fearing that the doctor won't find anything and miss potentially that I have something serious.

I guess I ended up in scenario no. 2. The doctors visit didn't give me any reassurance. She seemed really puzzled and unsure as to what was causing the symptoms. I explained my history of anxiety and she acknowledged that it could be related, but at the same time said that it's hard to tell what causes tingling.
She did some standard reaction tests, listened to my heart, took my blood pressure and so on, and nothing out of the ordinary was found. I had blood tests that I'll get the results from next week. Otherwise she gave the same answer that every single doctor has given me the last year when I've visited due to strange symtoms I've been having... "Let's see what happens" or "come back if the symptoms get worse"...
What really summed it up was when I asked her if tingling and pins and needles are generally normal symptoms. Instead of giving me a professional answer she googled my question! You'd think doctors know these kind of things without having to use the internet!

Oh well.
My tingling, pins and needles and itching is still with me. Some days it's hardly there, other days (like today) it rears its ugly head again.

Strange thing is, if I go jogging or running (specifically), I always feel better the day after... so I've been trying to do this on a daily level now.
Why is this? Is it a proof of anxiety or something else...
And only running will work. Weightlifting doesn't do anything for me, or any other sport for that matter, regarding these symptoms..
What's special about running?