Rant Mode Activated:

I'm so over this damn health anxiety, I really am, and its getting to the point now where I'm just can't do it anymore. The whole journey is still new to me, I started having general anxiety issues back in October and then it turned into health anxiety. I was constantly fearing a brain tumor or stroke or seizure or whatever.. This is no way to live, constantly in fear, focusing on all of the WRONG things. This is not how you enjoy life.

As far as I am concerned, I AM HEALTHY. And so are many of you. How fortunate we are to be healthy because there are so many right now who are struggling to live their lives. I read a story the other day about a young girl with cancer who dreamed of getting her own apartment and decorating it. Something so simple that many of us on here have done. The only thing I felt for her was sheer sorrow, that she would not be able to do that and I instantly felt thankful. The thing is though, is that we shouldn't have to read a story like that or meet someone who is ill to feel grateful about our health, we just should everyday. I for one, am sick of feeling so anxious all of the time about my health, because at the end of the day, there isn't much I can do other than live a healthy lifestyle. If I or anyone of you get cancer or a brain tumor or whatever else, then you worry about it then, because at that point there is only so much you can do. I'm annoyed that I have wasted so much time worrying instead of living and being happy. Those are several months that I'm not going to get back.

I woke up last night around 3 am in a total panic, for basically no reason. Yeah I was a little stressed the day before but nothing too bad. I woke up shaking unable to catch my breath, tingling, the whole nine yards and this morning I woke up feeling like crap. I felt exhausted, out of it, and my head was heavy. I thought to myself, here goes another anxiety and depression filled day revolving around my health. I'm over it, I can't keep up with it anymore because what will I become if i do? I'm 24 years old and I'm wasting time worrying about stuff that has less than a 1% chance of happening to me. It's dumb.

It's scientifically proven that your outlook on life and your health can heal you, while I've come to realize that anxiety doesn't just disappear overnight, I'm starting to realize that I can control it. Not whether or not I have a panic attack or if something makes me feel anxious but the key is to recognize it and realize that it is mostly in your head. Even the physical symptoms, they come from your mental state of mind. I just can't keep it up anymore.

Anxiety can kiss my ass