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Thread: Now I'm just getting annoyed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    167

    Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Rant Mode Activated:

    I'm so over this damn health anxiety, I really am, and its getting to the point now where I'm just can't do it anymore. The whole journey is still new to me, I started having general anxiety issues back in October and then it turned into health anxiety. I was constantly fearing a brain tumor or stroke or seizure or whatever.. This is no way to live, constantly in fear, focusing on all of the WRONG things. This is not how you enjoy life.

    As far as I am concerned, I AM HEALTHY. And so are many of you. How fortunate we are to be healthy because there are so many right now who are struggling to live their lives. I read a story the other day about a young girl with cancer who dreamed of getting her own apartment and decorating it. Something so simple that many of us on here have done. The only thing I felt for her was sheer sorrow, that she would not be able to do that and I instantly felt thankful. The thing is though, is that we shouldn't have to read a story like that or meet someone who is ill to feel grateful about our health, we just should everyday. I for one, am sick of feeling so anxious all of the time about my health, because at the end of the day, there isn't much I can do other than live a healthy lifestyle. If I or anyone of you get cancer or a brain tumor or whatever else, then you worry about it then, because at that point there is only so much you can do. I'm annoyed that I have wasted so much time worrying instead of living and being happy. Those are several months that I'm not going to get back.

    I woke up last night around 3 am in a total panic, for basically no reason. Yeah I was a little stressed the day before but nothing too bad. I woke up shaking unable to catch my breath, tingling, the whole nine yards and this morning I woke up feeling like crap. I felt exhausted, out of it, and my head was heavy. I thought to myself, here goes another anxiety and depression filled day revolving around my health. I'm over it, I can't keep up with it anymore because what will I become if i do? I'm 24 years old and I'm wasting time worrying about stuff that has less than a 1% chance of happening to me. It's dumb.

    It's scientifically proven that your outlook on life and your health can heal you, while I've come to realize that anxiety doesn't just disappear overnight, I'm starting to realize that I can control it. Not whether or not I have a panic attack or if something makes me feel anxious but the key is to recognize it and realize that it is mostly in your head. Even the physical symptoms, they come from your mental state of mind. I just can't keep it up anymore.

    Anxiety can kiss my ass

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    133

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Damn straight! You make some very good points and you should be a bit pissed. I was about your age when I kicked this the first time. Now I am about five months into a relapse and I am with you man. Fed up. So what's the plan?

    You need a plan of action. Today I scheduled counseling and got some info on acupuncture (my GP here in Boston said he has had lots of success with his patients with it). Each day I am waking up a bit earlier to do my yoga (get my mind and body right) and each night I am going to bed on time and listening to some mindfulness stuff or old 80s new age tunes as I drift off.

    Enough's enough. It's not the official forum motto or anything, but I have heard a couple of people say it already...

    "Our recovery begins when we fear not living today more than we fear dying tomorrow." - Skippy (I think that was who it was attributed to)

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    167

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Power to ya!

    For me I've begun really focusing on my mind and body. Eating healthier, doing my yoga as you mentioned. I also do some in the mornings, I've found a few really good 30 minute sessions on youtube. Straight and to the point. I haven't tried counseling yet but I think that Im gonna give it a go. I have the insurance for it so why not?

    Also for me, I'm really focusing on things that make me happy: reading, getting into nature, cooking, going out with my friends more. Even if I feel uncomfortable about it...a friend once told me " you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes". And even though he didn't mean it to be some deep moment, it really settled with me because he's absolutely right. You need to cope with the fact that sometimes you're not going to be comfortable or happy or secure. You deal with it.

    Also whats really helped me are monthly massages. Like they really do help! It helps release a lot of that tension that causes a lot of the physical symptoms that come with anxiety.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    380

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Good for you!

    I've recently have recovered from a general spiral about my health, worried about every single cancer under the sun pretty much. And boy can I tell you, I feel great! I'm eating better, getting out and exercising more, and generally just a happier person. I still see young girls fighting and dying from breast cancer which does give me a slight ache in my chest, (I live in Boston as well so huge medical mecha and I am out in my rotations, doing one at Dana-Farber which I'm slightly worried about my mental health with) but I've been much better at just living my life.

    Enough is enough. We're not sick at this moment and life is too short and predictable not to enjoy every moment.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    133

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Well the way I see it we have three really fed up HA sufferers ready to commit to a better life dedicated to those that actually have health problems. Let's check in on this thread with the ups and downs and keep each other motivated. What say you?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    380

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    I agree! Great idea!

  7. #7
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    Mar 2017
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    167

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    I am with you guys!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    371

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    You read my mind! I wrote a post similar to yours a couple days ago. I don't even know what it feels like to live without health anxiety. No idea how it feels to not have morbid and dark thoughts everyday. This is the first time in my life that I am trying to control the anxiety itself and not just the vague symptoms I get of vanishing diseases. Like yourself and many of the others that have responded I am finding solace in reading personal development blogs, exercise and healthy eating. Here is to hoping we can all get through this together. Perhaps we should start sharing our journey and inspiring each other

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    133

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Welcome aboard Katniss! The SS Screw Health Anxiety has plenty of room for more unruly paaengers.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    133

    Re: Now I'm just getting annoyed

    Sitting in a L-Shape trying to work on my computer when one finger on my right hand starts twitching. About a half hour later I have a shudder. Ten minutes later a leg jerk. This is the kind of stuff that drives me nuts. I am having trouble concentrating, but that should be expected. After all I am analyzing every damn sensation and movement to death.

    Not gonna let this take over my day. Hope you guys are doing well.

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