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Thread: Fear of poisoning

  1. #1

    Fear of poisoning

    I'm reaching a personal limit for my health anxiety- I've had it since I was 14, and felt compelled to have tests for whatever I felt at the time I had. It made me very reclusive.

    Later on I started hand washing and the reasons in my head to doing it fluctuated, settling on a fear of being poisoned by chemicals or toxins.

    Recently I've been pretty much catatonic. It stemmed from my piano keyboard breaking, to which I realised could most likely fix it by soldering.

    It brought back a memory of me being 11 or 12 years old. Inside my kitchen there was a drawer full of tools- there was a reel of solder.

    As probably the most idiotic thing I've done in my life, I played with the solder, sticking it in my mouth and biting off pieces. I did this 2 or 3 times before my sister caught me doing it and told me off.

    To my memory, I tried not to swallow any, but reading online it only takes a minuscule amount to have big effects on the brain.

    Throughout my teenage years I had a foggy mind and was tired all the time. I can't help obsessing about what effect the lead might have had on my mind. I had to work extremely hard in school to do well.

    Now whenever I'm trying to learn new things I can't help thinking about it, and whether things would be easier if it hadn't happened.

    Not to mention I learnt that lead is stored in the bones and re-enters the blood later in life.

    I feel as though I'm living in a nightmare, and every time I wash my hands now I think "what's the point? I have a supply of lead in my bones leaking out".

    I've also been worrying about having a brain tumour recently, as my pupils are sometimes different sizes and I'm having chronic headaches which go up and down.

    I don't know what to do anymore, and it makes me wonder whether my health anxiety was also created from this.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    1,834

    Re: Fear of poisoning

    This is something you can easily test for, and that if it was something you did as a child you've almost certainly been tested for already. Children are checked for lead several times. All you need to do is have a blood test that checks for lead levels. Chances are good you had this at check ups and through routine blood work throughout your life but never knew because everything was normal.

  3. #3

    Re: Fear of poisoning

    Hi ErinKC thanks for replying. I wasn't tested for lead after it happened- my sister didn't know why the solder was bad, she just told me not to do it.

    I had general blood tests for other things throughout my teens, but I only started getting them after 14- looking online, if I was tested, it wouldn't have picked up on the lead exposure as it would have already been stored in my bones.

    I can go back to my GP (I haven't been going much recently only once every 4 months), but they will probably brush it off since I have a history of health anxiety. I've mentioned my headaches but they think testing for things is a waste of time.

  4. #4

    Re: Fear of poisoning

    I'm starting to have another panic attack. The limits online I see for lead in the blood is 5ug-10ug per dL, and beyond that neurological impairment can be seen. There's a million micrograms in a gram and around 50 dL of blood in the body. I have no idea what amount of lead would have been given off from biting the solder in my mouth (I bit down with my front teeth 4 or 5 times each time I put the solder in my mouth- which I did 2 or 3 times on different occassions). I'm sure I can remember it tasting sugary as lead is described to. I hope that I washed my mouth out each time, I think I did, but I can't remember.

    If I had a small cut in my mouth (I don't know whether it was the case when I was younger, but when I brush my teeth there's blood in my spit), it would have gone directly into my blood.

    I'm scared that I've given myself a brain tumor, or set myself for early dementia. I know that if I go to the doctor they will dismiss me.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    4,369

    Re: Fear of poisoning

    HI Aeof and welcome to the community Ok if you have these fears my first stop would be to see your GP stop dr googling or going on line reading up about the problems,symptoms etc and tell him the story and ask for blood tests to specifically to test for levels of lead in your blood that's what I would do, to help put you mind at ease Cheers

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