My Anxiety my wife not happy

[up a ladder]

I am in the middle of a nasty reccurance of anxiety and depression and just getting up each day and working etc is so damned hard.
My general anxiety levels are always there, but add and event or a negative thought and panic appears and leaves me in a very dark state and mess.

Today my wife asked the question about our holiday that I stupidly suggested (when feeling well before Christmas) we book to America in August. Now I dont even want to think about it as the panic hits me hard. The thought of commiting by paying the remaining 90% of the cost leaves me cold, thinking we may need that money.

I have been given an deadline of Thursday to make up my mind, but with a strong suggestion it should be yes. My wife is fantastic and supportive but trying to explain a trip to Berkshire (2hrs) for a meeting can have me panicking very badly then a weeks in America with two 9 hr flights (flying my worse phobia) will be catastophic. She does not understand the mental and physical issues it cuases.

It really gets to me that I thought my anxiety would appear, but I was doing quite well before the latest bout. My concerns are real that it will push me over the edge but also trying to cling on to my therapy will work by August.

[Lucinda07]

Because your stress is so high at present, I would delay the USA trip. Partners do not understand how overwhelming anxiety can be. I would suggest a holiday closer to home
Europe or even UK. When you feel better in yourself, then consider going to America - it will always be there.

[Bill]

You say your wife asked you about the holiday but you don't say what you replied? You also say she is fantastic and supportive so I presume she's aware of how your anxiety can make you feel and that you're having therapy. Could it be that she was asking to see if you felt well enough?

If it were me, I'd discuss it with her and tell you her how you're feeling about it because she sounds a lovely woman who would support you with whatever you would prefer to do, even if she doesn't understand the complexities of anxiety.

[Lucinda07]

I think discussing the matter with your wife would be a good idea.
If the America trip is postponed, then you could perhaps buy a thankyou gift or treat your wife in some way for her understanding. Women like to feel appreciated.