I found this group two months ago when I had a life situation that made me feel that my world had crumbled. I was sitting on the lap top every day and night looking for answers to my anxiety, crying and intrusive thoughts. I joined the chat room and have made a few friends here. I am grateful to have the ability to chat with people that understand anxiety.

I started seeing a CBT therapist which taught me how to face my fears and she gave me this work sheet about how to change your thoughts. She gave me the excerpt from a book, titled "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns, M.D., 1989. When I feel anxious there is a little work sheet.

A. List the situation that you are fearful of (be careful to list only the facts)

B. Thoughts or beliefs about the situation (your self-talk)

C. Feelings---How do you feel as a result of your thoughts.

The last step an the most important step is:

D. Dispute thoughts or beliefs. What is unrealistic in your thinking? What are your dogmatic shoulds and musts.

I was still crying constantly, crying in therapy, crying on the way to therapy and then I was crying in the shower, I knew I needed help.

I stressed to the doctor that I tried medication before and was very sensitive to drugs. She started me on 25mg of Zoloft and 25mg of Hydroxyzine for sleep.

It calmed my brain down. However, I was sleeping late, I would wake up in a fog, not taking care of my life. The nausea was awful and then waking up at 4am to use the bathroom. So I cut out the Hydroxyzine. Fogginess went away and was not sleeping as much but I had no motivation to do anything. I sat on the couch til the evening in my jammies. So I weaned myself off of the medication.

I felt great! I had my energy back, I cleaned up the house, went and got a new hair cut and felt like myself. After a discussion with my doctor she felt that the medication was too strong for me but since I was coping to see how things go.

I have no more anxiety.

The medication did teach me how to push away intrusive thoughts. She told me that the medication probably helped to reset the circuits in my brain. Now this weekend, I had a few worries try to creep in. I stopped that thinking and focused on what I was doing right in front of me. As Bill has posted in many of his threads, that anxiety is a parasite, it's our thought process. It loves to feed on negative thoughts. This week will be my first full week without medication. I am determined to fight this and will come out a better person for it. If anyone wants to chat, feel free to send me a PM.

I want to thank you all for your posts and encouragement and I hope I can provide the same to someone who is still suffering.

Terri