Worried about nuclear war with North Korea

[Peterthegreatworrier]

Hi all! I haven't posted on here in ages, as a combo of CBT and medication has greatly reduced the severity of my anxiety problems.
However, world events have forced me crawl back and ask for some reassurance regarding the possibility of the situation in North Korea escalating into nuclear war. I have intermittently been worried about this in the past, but with an American president who at least appears to be more reckless than his predecessors in dealing with North Korea I'm really concerned that the situation will snowball into a nuclear conflict. I keep trying to tell myself that no one would be stupid enough to use a nuclear weapon, and that North Korea would never risk it as they would realistically be obliterated in retailation, and that besides they only like going on about their nukes to deter anyone from interfering with them. However, apocalyptic thoughts continue to slip into my head.
I would greatly appriciate any reassurances or suggestions you guys have to offer to help me calm down about this
Regards, Peterthegreatworrier

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Peter, good to hear been doing better.

Previous US presidents have been pretty pointless when it comes to NK, they just got ignored. It's like sending a letter to the local bully asking him to stop beating everyone up. Would his conscience kick in or would he laugh and carry on?

An interesting point raised in a discussion I briefly caught on the BBC was by a Russian. He said previously nothing was being done, including his own country. He raised that point that the US actually showing some strength might wake China up finally so they do something. Russia too.

So, perhaps we hope he is right? NK only listen to China. And the UN is largely a pointless organisation these days anyway, as well as hypocritical in some respects (Saudi & human rights).

Trump may be maverick & hot head but he's just a politician. Presidents are often portrayed as emperors but in a country based in democracy where the lawyers are always watching they can keep things balanced. I think there has to be faith in their checks & balances. If he made irrational decisions in taking them to war, they can take steps to remove him surely? And I think they learned a bit after the whole Bush & Blair lies.

It's more NK that are the worry. They surely aren't daft enough to do anything, they are just pushing their luck to elevate themselves to the top table. Only a madman would use a nuclear weapon (outside of retaliation, it's more a mad man then when you don't) so it's more terrorist groups that remain the concern there as they can hide amongst populations who's leaders wouldn't use them.

But aside from the real world stuff, what about treating this like any other fear of the unknown? Is it so different from cancer fears or anything else when you boil down to it?

[Traceyed1]

Hello I am a newbie and have also been terrified of the current situation in North Korea. I have become fixated on checking the news channels news apps and twitter for updates. Trying to stop myself doing this though but I feel like I need to know what's happening at all times which of course is just feeding my anxiety. ��

[Vega]

Hi, I'm new here too, and all the news and speculation over the last week has brought a new round of anxiety for me as well. I am distressed at how quickly I've fallen into it after really doing pretty well for years. But I recognise that this type of thing particularly brings me to what ifs and catastrophising, and it has occurred against a backdrop of other big changes in my life, including leaving a job I'd been in for many years for a completely new field. So I acknowledge that I'm kind of extra vulnerable to fears that at other times I might have been a bit better at dealing with. But it's been a rough few days, that is for sure.

I really appreciate your words, MyNameIsTerry, it's good to get different perspectives and I agree there are similarities with other fears. I know I should severely limit my internet reading and news checking about this. I can see myself checking, as with health anxiety, for reassurance, then another bout of fear, then reassurance, then fear. Just a really vicious cycle. I don't like uncertainty and I don't like things feeling out of my control, and this is a big part of it all for me.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad if something I say helps, Vega.

I don't know how old you are but if you are my age you might remember how we were taught to prepare for nuclear war warnings at school? Do they do it these days? It seems unlikely. It seems so bizarre looking back on that now.

When my anxiety was worse I struggled with news stories about things like this. The same with civil unrest, terrorism and even voting! It all feeds back into the change & uncertainty struggles we have but it does get easier. It doesn't bother me at all now and when I got my anxiety a bit lower, I made sure I read the first few pages of the newspapers when I was in supermarkets. That will have helped me to eliminate the fears.

It's definately worth limiting things. Also perhaps the sources too because some media outlets are more aiming for shock reaction than others. For instance, reading the online MSN news The other day there was an article about NK from one of our national newspapers which was just scaremongering - a picture of a mushroom cloud and "WWIII may happen" (something like that). Little better than shouting from a soapbox or walking round with a sandwich board on.

Try to put your time & effort into more positive things, especially things you enjoy. Get exercise, fresh air. Less rushing about, if possible.

Given your location, it's hardly surprising there are worries.

You've made a big change in career. It takes everyone time to settle in even when in the same work. Once you feel more confident & settled in your environment, this will reduce.

New employment tends to mean feeling a bit useless for a while. That's natural until we get to know our colleagues better and settle into a groove with the day-to-day tasks.

[Peterthegreatworrier]

Thanks Terry. Yeah, I know what you mean about the media being hyperbolic. My news feed lately has been full of 'war is brewing' quotations, but I don't click on them anymore because the comments are mostly by people not really in on the situation (e.g. some random American or Chinese politician). What you have said to me and Vega has truly made me feel better. I just think how during the cold war few people actually let themselves get bothered by all the tension! I'm sure this will blow over like all my other fear of the unknown worries.

[Vega]

A lot of the media is so speculative and geared towards alarm and negativity! Plain wrong too sometimes. I know this intellectually, but some things just bypass my frontal lobes and go straight for that fear response, and any sort of sustained talk of conflict is definitely one of them. I'm so great at seeing threat, especially when I'm stressed already. I've known myself to have momentary panic just misreading the word 'unclear' sometimes...

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, Peter. I actually am as well tonight, and I think talking about it has helped me too so thanks for starting the topic, and thanks again, Terry