Hello everyone,

I am a 20 year old man and I have had OCD tendencies for about two years now, although it is undiagnosed I have the doctors tomorrow and hopefully I will get some help for it.

My OCD started with thoughts about what I did in my past and feeling really guilty for them although it wasn't harming anyone I just felt like I should feel bad for it. Since that moment my mind went on a spiral and latched on to anything that it could to use against me, it made me remember the times as a kid when me and my younger sister would play a "game" and dry hump and it convinced me we had sex, I managed to disregard that thought.

It then took me back to another time as a young teenager when I would go around my friends house and his little brother came in the room and I remember dry humping him one time, obviously I felt very guilty about this for a long time and it made me resent who I am.

Now for the false memory/issue that haunts me today,

I started dating my ex girlfriend in July 2015, I was 18 at the time, I remember just enjoying her company and just being quite happy, but a short while into the relationship I remember that I stupidly complemented another girl and felt super guilty about it and came clean to my girlfriend about it, tbe guilty was intense and I felt like I had to confess regardless.

She had a younger brother who was around 6/7 years old I believe, I don't remember ever doing anything sexually motivated to him, I don't remember ever touching him or anything. Last week my mind just came across this thought as it often randomly floats in between thoughts trying to find one to obsess over!

I don't remember ever worrying over this before, and when I think of it, I think "I would remember something like that" but then again my mind convinces me that "I repressed this" or "it happened at a time when you didn't have OCD ans you could just forget it"

It gives me a lot of images, a lot of uncomfortable ones that bring a lot of anxiety such as, me touching the child and even to oral sex which I am sure never happened but the mind can be so convincing.

I feel sick and drained almost every minute of the day, I feel like a monster and I just keep worrying about having to tell everyone what happened, going to prison, losing my job etc.

I am very lost and I have a hard time even believing what is real, it's like my mind can throw anything at me and I will start believing it happened, how do I cope? Please help...