Around this time last year about an hour after a large BM I visited the loo for a wee to discover fresh blood dripping in the toilet bowl and from my bottom. It didn't last long but it has ruined my life. I have suffered with piles for years so am quite used to a small amount of blood after a tricky poo but this was different and no poo.

Various tearful visits to my gp, blood tests x2 i think and I'm sent packing saying its probably piles. Blood tests were ok. But I'm in such a state I paid to see a private gastroenterologist, he didn't seem concerned by my story but to be absolutely sure he recommended a flexible sigmoidoscopy on the nhs. I'm an utter mess I'm convinced I have bowel cancer and will leave my baby boy whos 5. I have the test and its clear. But my mind isn't, now my stomach is bad, I start getting cramps and having to run to the loo, bloating all symptoms of ibs. Gp again says yep ibs now try fodmap diet.

I follow the fodmap diet religiously and i get really good results but I'm still convinced its cancer. October I pay again to see a specialist, he says the exact same thing ibs dont worry. Really???? So i take it on board and except in a way ok ibs.

Everything feel apart about a month ago. Firstly its a year since it happened, a year for it to have grown got worse, plus I accidentally saw a tv interview with deborah james, a 35 year old with terminal bowel cancer. If it is not to much of a trigger for anyone read her story, buts of it i could of written even the cbt to help with health anxiety.

I'm in a complete spiral of despair and Tuesday theres a very high chance I'm going to pay another £250 to speak to a private consultant. The nhs wont help me they have told me so, no chance of a colonoscopy. But what if I'm right and i have got bowel cancer, i read on so meny forums how things started and two or three years later thats it, stuffed.

What do I do guys?
Have any of you experienced any thing like this?

If you have made it to the end of this awful post thank you very much ❤❤❤