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Thread: Family gatherings

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    196

    Unhappy Family gatherings

    Do you ever feel like a nervous wreck at the prospect of going to a family get together? I'm the one who actually offered to meet up over 2 weeks ago. So now I'm regretting it because I just feel so nervous! It was absolutely fine at first.

    What I'm scared of is disapproval. Its childish I know. I'm scared of being questioned. Asking about my love life, expecting me to talk a lot.... and my work life is the number one worst thing to be asked about. I care for my mother (it's my mums sister I'd be visiting) I don't do any other work and I don't even have friends/social life, making up something, which is going through my mind right now, is just so weak and lame.

    I feel like I'm missing something here. How do you cope with a situation such as this? I'm panicking. I just want it over with now, why can't I relax and enjoy myself?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    20

    Re: Family gatherings

    Quote Originally Posted by Bee84 View Post
    Do you ever feel like a nervous wreck at the prospect of going to a family get together? I'm the one who actually offered to meet up over 2 weeks ago. So now I'm regretting it because I just feel so nervous! It was absolutely fine at first.

    What I'm scared of is disapproval. Its childish I know. I'm scared of being questioned. Asking about my love life, expecting me to talk a lot.... and my work life is the number one worst thing to be asked about. I care for my mother (it's my mums sister I'd be visiting) I don't do any other work and I don't even have friends/social life, making up something, which is going through my mind right now, is just so weak and lame.

    I feel like I'm missing something here. How do you cope with a situation such as this? I'm panicking. I just want it over with now, why can't I relax and enjoy myself?
    Have you been prescribed propranolol? That's good for events. I meet with most of my whole family on good friday each year. I always feel a bit nervous before as i don't see them often but it's always ok.
    I find with events that make me nervous it's more the build up which i don't feel good during but it's ok once I'm at the event.
    Hope that helps, could ask dr if propranolol would be ideal for you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1,637

    Re: Family gatherings

    Turn it round and ask other people about themselves. Everyone likes a good listener

    ---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:57 ----------

    Also you're looking after your mother. Surely that's a very worthwhile job to have

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    132

    Re: Family gatherings

    I used to avoid those situations Bee, easier that way, but I have a brother who won't take no for an answer and it helped in a way with the socializing.
    My lot are the nosiest family on the planet so as phuzella said, turn the questions back on them, most people enjoy talking about themselves and take the topic away from you.
    Good Luck
    __________________
    A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives me hope.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    196

    Re: Family gatherings

    That has worked for me in the past and I forgot so thanks for reminding me phuz and Jamie

    @nesky the anticipation is the major issue for sure. But I know it subsides as soon as the event is over so I don't take anything.

    As for the gathering... It was disastrous because family I was going with fell ill so it didn't happen. It was awkward cancelling like I always did in the past and the get together was my idea. I feel a bit foolish because I'm trying to change by being reliable and more sociable. It was a legitimate reason though. We've rescheduled.

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