Armpit lump, don't want to go to the doctor.

[Mav]

Only I would be so unlucky as to get an armpit lump right when my health anxiety was near enough extinct.

it's a hard, little bean lump and only about a 1cm. It seems to be just under the skin. Could it be a lymphnode?

It's quite a hard, sausagy type lump.

I had, what seems to be an infected hair follicle just under it a few weeks ago, it was very sore and it stil there. So is it posssible that little infection could have caused the node to swell up?

Maybe it's a blocked sweat gland.

I'm not going to go to the doctor because I need to work on this anxiety. I'm sure the chance of the lump being malignant is unlikely. It doesn't seem to be going, but I think i'm not going to prod it and wait a few weeks, hopefully it goes down.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It doesn't matter what we think, what do you think? Rationalise it and make the decision what to believe. Then don't let your subconscious get you asking questions, only ask them if you choose to get information to use to counter the thoughts.

You know you have HA, did your other worries ever happen?

Well done for choosing not to examine it. Once is enough. Now when the anxiety is telling you to check, have you got a strategy to stop you doing it?

[axolotl]

Only I would be so unlucky...

Stop you right there. Why do you talk about yourself like that? I know you're not entirely serious, but if you find yourself thinking like that stop yourself, even if it's in jest. You are no more or less likely to have bad things happen to you than any other human being in the world. The Universe owes you no favours, but it's not out to get you either.

I think your method sounds good. If it was anything nasty it wouldn't need you to prod, poke and dig around to notice it and would make itself known, and if it's just a bit of something and nothing (which is the vastly most likely option) it won't get better while you poke it. But as always I'm an Internet random and don't take this as medical advice.

[Mav]

It doesn't matter what we think, what do you think? Rationalise it and make the decision what to believe. Then don't let your subconscious get you asking questions, only ask them if you choose to get information to use to counter the thoughts.

You know you have HA, did your other worries ever happen?

Well done for choosing not to examine it. Once is enough. Now when the anxiety is telling you to check, have you got a strategy to stop you doing it?

I'm at that point in my life now where I don't want to give in to the health anxiety monster because I can't afford to waste the time being sad anymore, enough is enough. Honestly, it really is enough now.

I only mention it because the thoughts are still there, the thought about leaving it and forgetting about it and then it turning out serious is ofcourse there.

This is almost comical to me, this whole health anxiety started off with an armpit lump last summer. I cried and cried over it and made my way to the breast clinic only to be told it's nothing, that our body just forms lumps. But I continued to worry until about november, then I realised it had gone (probably because I didn't touch it). (It was about half a cm I believe, this one feels a bit bigger).

Then, in december I discovered the swollen neck lymphnode. I went insane with worry, absolutely insane with it. Only just last month did that anxiety start to lessen, and 2 days ago I got the final report of my neck ultrasound which was fine and the doctor said she is discharging me.

I walked out happy, and ready to just get back on with life. "I will make up for this wasted time now" I said.

Just showering that night I came across the armpit lump, I thought nothing of it and still think little of it because honestly, I don't want to worry about something that is more than likely nothing. But if I leave it, and it is something, then ofcourse thats irresponsible. I don't know.

I've been in my health anxiety brain for so long, I don't even know how normal people deal with lumps and bumps they find. Do they leave them unless they grow or get painful? I sure as hell know they don't go to the doctor everytime they feel something.

---------- Post added at 15:30 ---------- Previous post was at 15:24 ----------

Stop you right there. Why do you talk about yourself like that? I know you're not entirely serious, but if you find yourself thinking like that stop yourself, even if it's in jest. You are no more or less likely to have bad things happen to you than any other human being in the world. The Universe owes you no favours, but it's not out to get you either.

I think your method sounds good. If it was anything nasty it wouldn't need you to prod, poke and dig around to notice it and would make itself known, and if it's just a bit of something and nothing (which is the vastly most likely option) it won't get better while you poke it. But as always I'm an Internet random and don't take this as medical advice.

I know I shouldn't think like that, but ofcourse there is that thought that I can surely only be lucky a number of times before my luck runs out. I know it's morbid, and I know it's not even something based on luck but it's just how I've learnt to think after all of this.

I need to get better which why I'm choosing not to go to the doc, it really could be a number of harmless things and I need to get that into my head.

I'm truly sick of not living, and I'm also so busy now with exams I shouldn't even be considering all these horrid health possibilities. I think I just write this on here because although I'm getting better with handling the anxiety, I am certainly not cured of it.

---------- Post added at 15:39 ---------- Previous post was at 15:30 ----------

One last thing, I don't actually have to dig for it but it's sort of on top of the skin, a bit like a pimple or something would be. The lump doesn't have a head though.

But the more I talk or describe it, I feel old me coming back -_- so I'm going to stop now.

Please do leave any helpful advice, I would really appreciate

[MyNameIsTerry]

I found one in my armpit a few weeks ago. I had a look, did a bit of squeezing as you do and I asked my mum whether she thought it was a pimple or cyst. Then I forgot about it. It was rubbing occasionally so I did look once or twice then but since I've forgotten about it.

I'm not a HAer so this is easy for me. However, my exposure to all the threads on here about illnesses I've never heard of does mean a get the odd "what if it's X" but intuitively it is followed by "don't be daft" at a subconscious level and the thought has gone.

I've suffered with intrusive thoughts about various non health themes, with a little later about mental health issues, but resolved it all. What I mentioned above still happens but it always comes with a "whatever" hanging onto the back of the thought.

I just see it as the mind coming up with some possibilities and they are all equally neutral. That way, they mean no more than a thought to buy some milk when in the supermarket.

Keep at it and you'll get there. You've got the right mental attitude, empowerment is an important tool in recovery.

---------- Post added at 15:41 ---------- Previous post was at 15:39 ----------

Good. Work on the anxiety and the thoughts.

Spotting you falling get into negative thinking is crucial. You're very much on your way now so keep going.

[Mav]

Thankyou, I feel myself getting better tbh and I acknowledge it's more anxiety than anything else.

I am going to leave it, I am guilty of giving it a squeeze. I showed my mum and her lack of concern obviously made me feel much better.

It's exam period now so I don't have time to worry even if I want too XD

I think it will go down soon.

I think the worry is there because it's in the "armpit region", if it were on my foot forexample I wouldn't give it a second thought.

But yes, I'm not going to bother about it. Obviously unless I see it getting bigger (which I suppose is a normal thing to do).

[Mav]

OKay I'm struggling, I'm clearly not as good at handling this anxiety as I believed. The new lump is just weighing on me.

I have felt it, I'm pretty sure it's in the skin because I can get my finger all the way around the bottom and my skin on either side touches at the bottom of the lump but the horrid possibilites are still there and I definately think it's because my neck lymphnode worry is over.

This is what happens to me, one worry over, another takes it's place.

[Catherine S]

You know we can't tell you what it is Mav, so describing it to us doesn't help us...we can't diagnose anything. Saying you don't want to go to the doctor is one thing, but you're replacing the doctor with us. If you don't want to see the doctor because you know it's nothing, why make it into something here...if you get what I mean. Don't know if that makes any sense.

ISB x

[MyNameIsTerry]

This is were the tests come in with anxiety. It's not just getting our levels lowered, it's responding to triggers. The latter are often the later stage to deal with and they do tend to just jump out on you until you turn a corner with them too.

So, accept it's a trigger. Accept you feel this way now because the anxiety disorder is still in there but it won't stay like this.

Don't allow yourself too much thinking time, get doing things. Absorb yourself in things.

The first check you made, with some squeezing and asking your mum is something that is quite rational, but that's where you leave it. If it turns into something that somewhere like NHS Choices says you should consult your GP, make an appointment, otherwise keep an eye on it...occasionally. When you need to make a re-check, make it your choice and not your anxiety's choice. This means refusing to let it push you into it and doing it only when you decide you want to. Wanting is very important, part of empowerment and it's powerful, it hijacks the anxiety. Wanting can turn it around and chnage you feelinsg about it, but it is hit & miss until you understand it more and how to use it.

[Mav]

You know we can't tell you what it is Mav, so describing it to us doesn't help us...we can't diagnose anything. Saying you don't want to go to the doctor is one thing, but you're replacing the doctor with us. If you don't want to see the doctor because you know it's nothing, why make it into something here...if you get what I mean. Don't know if that makes any sense.

ISB x

I guess I'm mentioning it so that someone might say "that sounds like nothing, don't worry".

It does make sense, I know what you mean and yes I am doing that, I guess for somereason I think that makes it better.

---------- Post added at 07:16 ---------- Previous post was at 07:12 ----------

This is were the tests come in with anxiety. It's not just getting our levels lowered, it's responding to triggers. The latter are often the later stage to deal with and they do tend to just jump out on you until you turn a corner with them too.

So, accept it's a trigger. Accept you feel this way now because the anxiety disorder is still in there but it won't stay like this.

Don't allow yourself too much thinking time, get doing things. Absorb yourself in things.

The first check you made, with some squeezing and asking your mum is something that is quite rational, but that's where you leave it. If it turns into something that somewhere like NHS Choices says you should consult your GP, make an appointment, otherwise keep an eye on it...occasionally. When you need to make a re-check, make it your choice and not your anxiety's choice. This means refusing to let it push you into it and doing it only when you decide you want to. Wanting is very important, part of empowerment and it's powerful, it hijacks the anxiety. Wanting can turn it around and chnage you feelinsg about it, but it is hit & miss until you understand it more and how to use it.

Yes okay, it's only when I think about things to hard and long I end up getting worried about it. If I stay busy I do actually forget. I guess that is normal with anxiety, too many possibilities come to mind.

Honestly, I should have learnt by now that it's likely to be nothing. I don't know why I keep doing this, I really don't. It's like I never get tired (mentally) of going through the same worries over and over again.