i am unsure when it started, but i have had it for a while. i have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and we have got a mortgage and a home together, he is my best friend and we do everything together.
but i am constantly plagued by these doubts that i am no longer in love with him and that i am not attracted to him, it makes me feel sick to my stomach and when i see couples that are so obviously in love i think is that me? am i like that? am i just pretending because its easier than breaking up?
I dont want to break up, i want this feeling to go away and to feel like i am falling back in love with him, we can be on the sofa having the best evening and all of a sudden i look at him and the feeling comes out of nowhere!
every time someone mentions marriage or kids i wanna throw up from nerves about how i am feeling, and my anxiety makes me have conversations with myself in my head...
"you just need to fall back in love with him",
"you are attracted to him dont be stupid"
and i end up hitting myself out of frustration trying to snap myself out of it..
"maybe you need to break up so you can get back together" i mean seriously what the **** is this?! i cannot deal with these thoughts! i know the more you think about it the more it imprints itself in your head... has anyone got any tips on how to do this? or have you been through it and come out the other side?
he is incredible, he supports me and loves me so much, without him i would be so lost.