Up and Down...why?

[Utah49er]

Hi Utah
How are you getting on now? Hope the meds have started to kick in now?

Pixie, you are so sweet to think of me and I am desperately hoping and praying (hope this is ok, but I am a religious man and that is how I do things) for you and your recovery! How are you, have you started the Effexor again?

I am doing ok, not sure if any better or worse, but holding steady. I have windows of time where I can almost feel my true self coming back, then a wave of anxiety closes the window haha. I do think eventually I will get there on the Paxil, but I think maybe the fact I quit cold turkey (was on the "lowest dose" of Zoloft at 50mgs, I figured I could just stop taking them) my nervous system may just be highly sensitive to SSRIs and they greatly increase my anxiety for a while. It may take longer than usual for me to get there due to this, but I am confident, given time, I will get there (if i can be patient...good luck right?) I have seen this theory of being sensitized to meds due to quitting cold-turkey, or quitting in general, being floated around the internet. Maybe Panic Down Under or Hanshan could weigh in on this as they seem to understand this stuff more than others. Anyway, it is still early (11 days at 20mgs) and I certainly have had some wins (felt almost normal at Father's Day BBQ at my Dad's) but my general anxiety has been VERY high the last 3-4 days. At times almost unbearable, but at times very manageable and I can feel myself coming back. Hopefully the good 'windows" continue to get more frequent and the "waves" get weaker and less frequent. I think the Pregabalin is helping me sleep and with the start-up anxiety, but I am waking early like I did on the other SSRIs (6AM though this time not the 4:30 or 5 on the Zoloft and Lexapro).

---------- Post added at 17:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:16 ----------

I don't agree with a lot this site says, but this kinda sounds like us Pixie:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/...awal-symptoms/

Again I would be interested in thoughts about this from people who know much more than I about these drugs. I am just an average guy trying to figure out what the hell happened to him.

[PixieP]

Hi Utah
I'm glad that you feel things may be starting to improve. I hope that the good feelings continue and soon anxiety is a thing of the past. Thank you for your prayers. I dropped the mirtazapine dose on the advice of my doctor and took my first Effexor on Sunday but I felt so truly awful that I took the mirtazapine again and I'm now so scared of feeling even worse I don't know what to do for the best! I've been taking mirtazapine for 6 months so I felt that stopping it over 3 days was quite quick. Maybe I need more time to get off it before starting Effexor? I just don't know any more.
I'm really wish I could just do what all of the self help books say and just accept the anxiety for what it is. I've been fighting this for 9 months now and whilst some days are better than others, for the most part I'd describe it as a living hell. It's there as soon as I open my eyes in the morning and the worst part is, I'm not actually anxious about anything reallly. I just dread everything as I know I'm going to feel awful all day. Is that how yours is?
Sorry - don't mean to sound so self pitying but I just don't see an end to this!
Sending prayers for you that you start to feel more like yourself again soon.

Quick update: just managed to speak to my psychiatrist re the meds and she said it's safe to start taking the Effexor before tapering off mirtazapine. She's also brought my next appointment forward so seeing her 4 July. So I will try again with the Effexor tomorrow and see how I go on that before removing mirt and/or Pregabalin. Anything is worth a try!

[Utah49er]

Yes, I was going to tell you I have known many people who find the Mirtazapine/Effexor combo a good one. So while it may not be for you, there is certainly no hurry to get off the Mirtazapine.

Sorry you are struggling, I actually had a fairly good day yesterday, but then was up at 5AM today and not able to go back to sleep. That combined with the stress of watching my son's tennis matches today, I am having a pretty bad anxiety day. Sucks cause yesterday was, as I said, actually pretty good. So disappointing to feel like you are finally seeing some light, only to come crashing back down.

Just know you will get there, I actually think going back on Effexor is going to be just the thing you need. If it was me I would continue to take the Mirtazapine for sleep and the Pregabalin to take and edge off any Effexor start-up symptoms. I know it seems like a lot of meds, but we need to get ourselves functional and stable, then figure out what we can start weaning ourselves off of.

[hanshan]

Mirtazapine plus venlafaxine have been found to be a good combination for treating depression, as they work in different ways (NaSSA + SNRI). The combination may also be helpful for anxiety, so worth a try. It's really a case of trial and error to see what works, but have courage - something will eventually.

[Utah49er]

Hanshan, I was hoping you and Panic would weigh in on the idea that for me and Pixie quitting our AD shocked our central nervous system and the best thing we could do is to get on either our original AD or a similar one and stay on it for 2+ months to give our systems time to adjust and desensitize.

Pixie, just wondering what your symptoms are? Do you have problems sleeping? Early wakings (like at 3-6AM with cortisol/adrenaline spikes). When is your anxiety worse in your day? When is it best? I know everyone is different and responds differently to meds and such, but we are so similar in our experience, I am just wondering if our symptoms are also similar.

[Utah49er]

Hi Utah
I'm glad that you feel things may be starting to improve. I hope that the good feelings continue and soon anxiety is a thing of the past. Thank you for your prayers. I dropped the mirtazapine dose on the advice of my doctor and took my first Effexor on Sunday but I felt so truly awful that I took the mirtazapine again and I'm now so scared of feeling even worse I don't know what to do for the best! I've been taking mirtazapine for 6 months so I felt that stopping it over 3 days was quite quick. Maybe I need more time to get off it before starting Effexor? I just don't know any more.
I'm really wish I could just do what all of the self help books say and just accept the anxiety for what it is. I've been fighting this for 9 months now and whilst some days are better than others, for the most part I'd describe it as a living hell. It's there as soon as I open my eyes in the morning and the worst part is, I'm not actually anxious about anything reallly. I just dread everything as I know I'm going to feel awful all day. Is that how yours is?
Sorry - don't mean to sound so self pitying but I just don't see an end to this!
Sending prayers for you that you start to feel more like yourself again soon.

Quick update: just managed to speak to my psychiatrist re the meds and she said it's safe to start taking the Effexor before tapering off mirtazapine. She's also brought my next appointment forward so seeing her 4 July. So I will try again with the Effexor tomorrow and see how I go on that before removing mirt and/or Pregabalin. Anything is worth a try!

Pixie, I haven't heard from you and wondering how you are getting on with your start-up of effexor? Hopefully not too many adverse effects and you will start seeing benefits soon!

[PixieP]

Hi Utah
Well it's been almost a week on Effexor but at the moment I don't feel any different. Anxiety has been high and I've had a few "meltdowns" where I've just sat and cried as I feel as though I'll never get better. I haven't posted on here as I just feel as though I come across as "poor me" all the time!
You asked what my symptoms are; well the list is long and they are constant as in there all day every day:
My chest feels like there's a tight band round it, my arms constantly feel like I have something crawling in them, I have an upset stomach, feel sick most of the time and just generally feel like I'm on the edge of full blown panic and may burst into tears at any time. Just the thought of getting through the day is awful.
However, I have been like this for the best part of 9 months now so I am surviving.
It's early days on Effexor yet though and I'm only on a low dose until Thursday when I have to increase so time will tell.......
So how about you? What symptoms do you have? Hopefully you are starting to feel better now and the meds are kicking in for you? One of these days one of us has to have a breakthrough!
Take care of yourself and sending positive vibes your way.