Als MND panic- please help me!

[melfish]

Oh no, please don't apologise! It was just a brief flicker. Haha, I used to trawl through google images looking for wonky uvulas. Didn't think to look on youtube. So you saw lots?

---------- Post added at 10:10 ---------- Previous post was at 10:09 ----------

Heh, it's so not normal to be discussing uvula angles on the internet with strangers

[jojo2316]

Haha no! But I think perhaps we are not normal ! Yes you can see all sortsL on YouTube! I'm not sure why but people seem to video the insides of their mouths. HOWEVER I only look for random healthy people videoing themselves doing party tricks with their uvulas (I know - right?!) NOT people showing off their diseases - coz that would send me into a total tailspin..
you're right. This conversation is totally not normal!

[melfish]

I hear you. I only look at incidental photos/videos of tongues. I don't wanna see no ALS tongues, lol

[Lilly13]

I feel it is my duty to talk to you about this.. I had this fear intensely.. maybe two years ago. Try not to obsess like this, if it were ALS it would be obvious to the Neuro. Something else that set me free was that if you got a diagnosis, this wouldn't help you... so what is the point in worrying? Just let it go and see if it progresses( chances are it won't) Use those CBT skills.. what are your chances that you have ALS? What is your proof? ( none you saw a Neuro and they weren't concerned.)

[jojo2316]

Some members may have noticed I have been worrying about pancreatic cancer recently (panic cancer!). Yesterday I had scan (not clinically necessary- privately arranged) and although I haven’t had any results my HA brain is already casting around for other possible reasons why I might be dying. And since I have been noticing that in bed at night, if I lie very still and think about it, I can feel odd little thumps and twitches here and there in my calves (and elsewhere), my mind has turned (BACK!!) to MND.
It was actually Pulisa who encouraged me to write about it here, so I am, just in case it helps others (and me!) to recognise the patterns in HA thinking.
One part of me sees my absurdity and the other part thinks.....”but maybe this time it is real ..”?
Thank you so much for listening!
Jojo x

[pulisa]

Will you be wanting to book in with a private neurologist after getting the panic cancer all-clear, jojo?

If so, I think you should definitely stop yourself. Quite apart from reinforcing your HA behaviours you will be essentially pouring more money into the worried well private patients healthcare system. You'd be better off donating the fee to an MND charity.

"Neurological" symptoms are easy to find if you scan your body hard enough...but how do you relax your guard? xx

[jojo2316]

Will you be wanting to book in with a private neurologist after getting the panic cancer all-clear, jojo?

If so, I think you should definitely stop yourself. Quite apart from reinforcing your HA behaviours you will be essentially pouring more money into the worried well private patients healthcare system. You'd be better off donating the fee to an MND charity.

"Neurological" symptoms are easy to find if you scan your body hard enough...but how do you relax your guard? xx

Wise words as always Pulisa. I do a lot to fund doctors’ private school fees!.

[BlueIris]

Take a deep breath, Jojo, and think of all the fun stuff you could be spending that money on instead.

[jojo2316]

Ok, firstly I am SO sorry for doing this. I must be going even madder than I already was. It’s been panic cancer, a brain tumour and now *effing* MND AGAIN!!! I can’t bare it.
But it’s real, the symptoms are REAL. I’m having fasiculations and they are mainly in one leg. Not one muscle, but one whole leg. Surely that’s bad? One muscle is ok, jumping randomly all over the body is ok, but one leg?? That’s a proper symptom of ALS. How can this be happening. Crying with fear and frustration. Bl**dy HA. Just feel so exhausted and defeated

[Fishmanpa]

I'm sorry JoJo. I don't know what to say really. At least you acknowledge it's anxiety and not some deadly illness.

I don't recall. Are you getting help for your anxiety?

Positive thoughts