So scared

[CantonaKing]

But I'm not seeing my therapist till a week on Wednesday?
And I'm going crazy - like internal dialogue with myself - is that normal?!

[Bee84]

Yes it's normal especially for an introverted personality type but ideally it's meant to be happy self talk! I don't do it myself as much as I could :( Try meditation or deep breaths there's loads of videos on it on YouTube. And when the thoughts begin, tell yourself you're a good man! It's true you'd never act on those thoughts.

[CantonaKing]

So I won't have this feeling forever?
We've only just got married!

[Bee84]

No it's temporary, I mean truly nothing lasts forever.

[I Don't Get it!]

But I'm not seeing my therapist till a week on Wednesday?
And I'm going crazy - like internal dialogue with myself - is that normal?!

Yes it's normal for anxiety. It will only get worse if you feed it with fear. Your fear makes your anxiety worse. If you understand that it's just a part of having anxiety and the thoughts are just thoughts - they're not facts or feelings. They can't hurt you or anybody else.

[CantonaKing]

But now when I'm with my wife, I'm still getting the stupid thoughts?
Like I'm worried shes to blame when that's garbage and I love her more than anything.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's an intrusive thought. I would suggest you read about them so that you understand more about them.

They are the opposite of true character and that's why they evoke such strong reactions from us. That reaction is the expected response and so it reinforces the need for a fear just like how you can build a fear of a place by having panic attacks there and avoiding it in fear of further panic attacks.

As much as they are upsetting, learning to not react to them with negatives is the way out of them. Analysing them in negative ways e.g. going down a rabbit hole with them, just feeds the cycle.

[Homer47]

Hi I have this also do you are definitely not alone mate. I mostly have it now at it's worse when I,m at work. That feeling of dread when near anyone the feeling like your going to lash out. Like also you are stopping yourself from doing it, it's the anxiety that goes with it that makes us believe something is going to happen. Does that sound familiar.

[CantonaKing]

Hi mate,
Yeah - but it's more aimed at my wife, who I love more than anything.
Now I feel tremendous guilt about the thoughts, like either me or her is to blame.
I can't tell her about these intrusive thoughts cos she won't understand and she'll be scared of me, even though I've never harmed or hurt anybody in my life.
I can feel the adrenaline surging through me and worrying that I'm not good enough for my wife, since I've been with her today.
I've never had anything like this before.

[MrDanny]

Thing is we all have thoughts where maybe at the time we were angry with someone and you just think on the lines off "this person is so annoying, i just wanna hit her/him" you wont do it obviously, and many other examples. But many people wont think much of the thought and it will go as quickly as it came. While people like ourselves question why we had the thought instead of letting it be "omg why did i think that, does that make me bad?" etc etc.

Just find a therapist and talk it through with her/him. It sounds like harm OCD (ive had it) but im no expert.