So scared

[Homer47]

I read all them links regarding harm OCD etc. This is what myself is going through you are not alone.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I read all them links regarding harm OCD etc. This is what myself is going through you are not alone.

I've been through it too.

[Homer47]

At work tonight just had a few images of smacking someone but it's that feeling like you were close. That's what I presume we all hate is that feeling thinking you were close to acting it out. Then thinking here we go again. Do you get that. This is far the worse one for me.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I found the urges with intrusive thoughts, and OCD in general, to be the hardest. I found it easier to handle the images but the feelings were the hardest part.

You've got to remember that violent people don't worry about acting, it's fine to them. These intrusive thoughts, images & urges don't mean anything and you are still the non violent person you were before they came along.

[Homer47]

Correct I can handle the urges and images as they pass but the feeling of dread that you were close. Was at it's worse when my daughter was born that was horrendous.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's supposed to be common with new parents. It makes sense it focuses on someone you would do anything for because it's looking for what shocks you the most.

Mine all revolved around my parents. It was about direct harm, the wishing of harm or not preventing harm and also in harming them through shaming them. By shaming them it was intrusive thoughts about harming strangers and the resulting shame of imprisonment from it. My parents had always brought us up to see arrest as that so it just latched on.

Do you think yours might be like that about work colleagues? About how the consequences would impact on your family more than the act itself? Either way you can get through them without understanding it deeply, it's just something I wondered with you obviously being a committed dad.

I've got through mine. Mindfulness helped me greatly to reduce anxiety and observe thoughts rather than interact with them. But my much greater challenges with OCD have been about other things.

[Homer47]

Ye it seems mine now is worse when I'm at work, so the consequences of me acting on it then getting sacked jail etc. Very scary. Just as I was leaving work was talking with a women colleague then the images of me actually hitting her came in. It actually feels like it was close. Or is that what I see in my head that quick flash of smacking her. Then the adrenaline then the worry.? I was worse last wk. It does this sometimes it could last for a wk or 2 when it's bad then it sort of eases off. Did you experience that as well. Are you on nights or can't sleep.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have a look at this which shows examples of the cycle:

https://psychologytools.com/cognitive-model-of-ocd.html

I've not looked at this one yet, it's new in the worksheets section, but might be useful to show how common these thoughts are?

https://psychologytools.com/intrusiv...-impulses.html

My sleep routine is upside down.

Stressful periods agitate these thoughts. So, if there is pressure from elsewhere, could be completely unrelated, it can intensify all these thoughts.

It's very similiar to what we understand as the normal cycles of anxiety & panic e.g. up pops symptom, then we notice it and the adrenaline starts, then we start worrying about what it means.

[Homer47]

Thanks so much mate will check this out later. How do you find these threads if you don't mind me asking.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you mean those links I just posted? I came across that site ages ago when looking for some CBT stuff. It's got some excellent worksheets and the CCI workbooks for lots of anxiety issues and they are all free for personal use.

I've used various tools myself and linked to them a lot in case they could help anyone else with issues they raise threads about. Thought Records are something I've posted plenty of times.