Life is being ruined

[taran]

I have been sufferinng from HA for the last 3 months. Recently i found a lump in my neck which got me worried. I cried every day for a week thinking it was cancer. I went to my doctor 2 times in the last week and both have assured me thats its nothing to worry about. Now simple things like coughing make me think i bave lung cancer ETC. now when i am looking forward to k something such as a holiday my mind thinks "theres no point your going to die in 3 months anyways" i have lost intrest in all hobbies and my life is being taken over by HA

[NervUs]

You titled this post "Life is being ruined." That's passive voice, articulating a sense that this is something being done to you.

Fact is, you are doing it to yourself. The sentence should be "My thought process is ruining my life."

This is not to blame you. I totally get it. I do it too. I see cancer EVERYWHERE. I have had a number of lumps and bumps and health issues over the past 4 months, as well as three bouts with persistent cough. Like you, the cough immediately makes me think lung cancer.

As hard as it is, I need to force myself to challenge those thoughts and find the alternative evidence (i.e. my cough improves with treatment, the one I currently have is slowly but surely getting better, even without treatment).

Unfortunately, with HA, there is no other choice but to work at it. You will have to do this too. Try to accept that you (as in the way you interpret feelings and actions in your body) is what is ruining your life and try to find strategies that work to make your mind understand that you can control those thoughts and interpretations (although it is very much NOT easy).

Also, I used to fall back on the "I'm not going to make plans because I will probably be sick or dead." OK.....even though that is your inclination right now, go out of your way to make plans and think of your future. That's what I had to do, and it did help to knock me out of all the catastrophic thinking that dogged me.

You can do it. You need to work, though. Have you thought of therapy?

[taran]

Thanks so much for the reply, and i have thought of therapy but the thought of it scares me

[mdel]

Lumps, lymph nodes, etc... can be very annoying because it's something that isn't supposed to be swollen but even lightest infections, wounds, sore throat, oral thrushes, sinusitis and allergies may trigger them. You should only concern if your lump grows over time.
I have several lymph nodes in my neck (4-5 years already with no changes in size). I can't count the amount of diseases I thought about and I have none of them.
I went to 5 doctors that weren't able to diagnose me. All of them said not to worry because they performed me ultrasound and complete blood count with perfect results.
I know how you feel, it's like you can't forget the lump is there and you think the worst scenarios. It's not easy for us to live without worrying but we can have a better control of our worrying attacks by getting the right information from experienced doctors (NOT from the internet) and convince ourselves that we are fine.
Sharing time with the people you love, doing hobbies, playing videogames, watching TV is very helpful. Also I managed to stop looking for symphtoms on the internet (first I reduced the times I did it, and then I simply stopped doing it).
And please don't think about lung cancer, I share with you that I think it's ridiculous. Lung cancer is a disease of old people (most of them people who smoke). Statistics say 90% of people with lung cancer smoke. COPD increases the risk too. Just have a healthy life without exagerating and you will be fine.