Hi everyone,
I am new to this forum. I have been online reading other's stories and thought it may be good for me to reach out for some advice.
TL;DR: How to stop doubting tests and doctors.
I have always experienced a heightened level of anxiety but over the past 6 months it has taken off. It started with a serious bout of food poisoning in January. Since then, I have CONVINCED myself I have had 11 different types of cancers. Each time I believe I have a cancer, I am CONVINCED. I always tell my partner "but this time is different". Can anyone relate to this?
I have not been anxiety free for the past 6 months. Just as one fear goes, another one is ready to pop up. I have been worked about stomach/esophageal cancer for the past few months. My doctor knows about my health anxiety and reluctantly referred me to a GI doctor for consultation. After months of research on the internet, I have been convinced that I need an endoscope. My doctor was not going to refer me for such a procedure. When my health anxiety started, I would get reassurance from the doctor and it seemed to work for a bit. Now it seems I need more and more. I met with the GI doctor and shared my worries. They informed me that they did not feel anything was wrong with me and set up a follow up for a few months. In the moment, I told my partner "all I want is a consultation with a GI and I will feel better". I temporarily felt better. The next day my anxiety came back full force and I ended up taking myself to the hospital. I have told my partner for the past few months, Once I have an endoscope, I will move on. The doctor in ER ordered an endoscope and I went through the procedure. After I spoke with the doctor, they told me that there was no blockage, just some mild reflux found. This helped my anxiety significantly for that day and I truly felt that I was over my HA. Over the following few days my anxiety has increased again SIGNIFICANTLY since i still have symptoms. I am questioning: "did they miss the mass in my esophagus", "did they take me seriously", "what if they didn't see the spot", "does the doctor have enough experience". It was a different doctor that did the endoscope so I worry that they didn't know the full picture and what to look for etc. I become so desperate to see my doctors and get re-tested, but I know they won't do it.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do when you start doubting the doctors and tests? I am currently working with a therapist, but would like to hear from other HA sufferers about their experience with this.
Thank you everyone!
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