hello people im new! is ne1 here like me?...

[loz04]

Hi everyone,
just joined this website as my mum suggested it earlier. feeling a little alone in this right now, does anyone suffer from panic attacks due to a phobia of some kind?

i've had a phobia of being ill (throwin up) all my life and began having panic attacks wen i was a young child, im now 20! I had separation anxiety and couldnt be anywhere without my mum (spent half of year 6 chasing after her out of skool). they were bad times, i couldnt go anywhere or do anything. im older now and know so much about my problem and panicking. but even though i know so much about it (how my panic attacks begin, how to get rid of them etc) i'm still controlled by my fear everyday and with everything i do and i still panic all the time. more often than not im strong enough to eventually find something to take my mind off it...it's the best way i can calm down...talking about it used 2 help and still kinda does but something that i can do to actively take my mind off it can calm down instantly. i also suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, and have done since i was little (used to do about 14 differnt obsessions a night b4 i cud go 2 bed and they wud take me just over an hour). but these days the obsessions r different...i can get into bed n fall asleep but everyday decisions that i make often r made 'if my problem will allow them'. these can be decisions of the type of music i listen 2 or the type of socks i put! if i imagine me bein ill or panicking wearing them i avoid making that choice (if im having a good day i can ignore them but if im panicking the obsession get worse).

so that's about it on why im here...just wondering if any of you are like me in any way and if so i wanna get 2 know u so i know im not alone! maybe we can help each other? if u wanna get in touch, email me or post a message bac!
Thanks for readin this long essay! lol
xxx

[seh1980]

hello Loz,

Welcome to the forum!!

Don't worry - you're not alone. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. I used to suffer from agoraphobia but am much better now.

Are you on any meds at all?

Sarah

[Karen]

Hi Loz

Welcome to the site. You're definitely not alone here. I have social phobia and suffer from panic attacks.

You'll get a lot of help and support here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[sal]

Hi Loz

Welcome to the site, you will find lots of help and support on here. And will realise that by no way are you alone. Read all the past posts on peoples fear of been sick it will help you loads.

Hope to hear more from you.



Love Sal xxxxx

[loz04]

thanks everyone!

no i aint on any medication. i was offered it at theropy a few years ago but the side affects were nausia so of course i decided against!!

speak 2 ya all soon!
xxx

[seh1980]

hello again Loz,

Medication doesn't work for everyone but it has done wonders for me. I have been on mine for a year now and my life has been transformed. I am now driving. going out alone, etc. I also saw a therapist for a while and it really helped. It's nice having someone to talk to who can advise you and point you in the right direction. So, if things are really bad, don't rule them out...

Sarah

[sal]

Hi Loz

Good to hear from you. Many of us have tried medication that has made us feel worse by the side affects and many tablets i have tried i have given up on as i couldnt weigh up how when you feel so close to the edge they could give you a tablet that is supposed to help you but makes you feel so much worse at the beginning.

Medication doesnt suit all and there are so many other options to take with counselling, CBT, Hypno, Accupuncture etc. Try to find something that you think might help you and that you fancy trying.





Love Sal xxxxx

[vernon]

Hi, Welcome to the sit i hape u get the help u r looking for here which i am sure u will. If u like chatting about it why not try our chat room? very friendly there and usualy someone in every evening. take care Vernon

[jill]

Hi Loz

Welcome to the site.

Your post was not a long essay, it was all about a strong young lady who has gone through sooo much.
I can relate to your eary years because my daughter from the age of 3 suffered anxiety PA being sick, she would never go anywehere without me. She was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of 6 but the doctors did not tell me it was departation anxiety, I only found this out after many months searching the internet. Wish I had this site back then.
My daughter is now 11 and is soooo much better.
I myself sufferd in the past PA anxiety, I say in the past because that is where it is and its all down to this site and the special people who have helped me to understand and point me in the right directon to feeling better.
You have come to the write place,
You will get alot of help and support here.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX


Don't dwell on what went wrong instead,
focus on what to do next.
Spend your energies on moving forward.

[loz04]

thanks again everyone, this site looks really helpful, it's so nice talking 2 people who know it's like, as ive been battling alone all my life and never spoken 2 ne1 who's been thru it as well.

i went to theropy wen i was about 11 and have been to different types since then, even tried hypnotheropy but it didnt really make much difference. im so scared of being ill that i would rather die than go through it and the daft thing is i'm a lucky person who never gets ill in that way. the last time i was ill was wen i was 7years old, but all kids get ill at that age!

in the past wen i panicked i'd not go out n wouldnt face it and would let my problem beat me. but now i fight. well, most of the time! since i started bac at uni in september, yesterday was the only day i gave in and walked out of class in a panic attack. i guess everyone has days where they arent as strong and yesterday was mine. i didnt wanna go 2 uni but i forced myself. i get extra scared about goin 2 lectures coz last yr two students ran out 2 b ill as they'd probably had 2 much to drink the night b4 (i dont drink...scared it will make me ill!!) but coz they did that in the lecture, i always think "wot if that was me having to run out?" so then i wind myself up! i got 2 uni n kept thinkin "i really cant do this.." but then i was like "no, ur goin, u can do this." on my way 2 the lecture room i kept stopping and starting my steps as one minute i was a nervous wreck and the next second i'd manage 2 find a comforting thought that calmed me down. i got into the lecture, sat at the bac just incase i wanted 2 go home...which probably made it worse coz although i knew i wasnt ill, i kept thinkin about how i could run out, which is how an ill person would think...if that makes any sense! so it made the situation worse! anywayz, i think i lasted about 3 minutes in there. i could feel thep anic rising through me. i grabbed my bag and car keys about 2 leave and even then, i was tryin 2 fight it..i stopped myself and desparately scanned my eyes around the room 4 somethin 2 take my mind off it so i could calm down, but there was nothing. my vision was blurred, i felt i couldnt breath, i went dizzy and i couldnt think straight coz my head was spinning. at this point i knew the only way 2 save myself was to run, so i did! the second i walked away frrm the situation and i got outta there i calmed down as thought someone had a turned a switch off inside me!

wot makes me so angry tho is that if i didnt try then i could say "well i didnt give it my best shot..." but the fact im fighting so hard and still having it in my head every second of everyday, worrying etc, and even tho i go places n go out shopping etc n uni, i still feel like im not getting anywhere. each day is just the same. just because i went somewhere yesterday and was ok, doesnt mean that 2day is going 2 b the same...and so i worry all over agen, it never gets easier and that's wot's so disheartening! i feel like im fighting against a continuous battle. i always talk 2 my fiance as well n ask him questions about if a certain food is ok, or if i have a pain, n if it will make me ill. im scared im going 2 push him away from me coz it's all the time. i cant talk 2 my mum coz she's dealt with it all my life and she just gets frustrated coz she can c im tryin n nothings changing, so she gets angry too.

The one thing i know is that the way 2 face up 2 my problem is to keep going out, even if i panic and fight it. but even tho im doing this it's still there everyday and doesnt get better and i dont know wot else 2 do. the daft thing is i know logically (and a couple theropists have told me this) that u can only be sick if it's self inflicted...as in getting drunk, eating dodgy food and that even if u ever feel ill, u can take ur mind off it n avoid bein ill. even tho i know this i still get wound up! sometimes i get so nervous that i start 2 feel ill and the daft thing is, if im so afraid of it, y am i putting myself through all that wen if i'd just stayed calm in the 1st place i wudda never felt that w