Withdrawal symptoms or just anxiety?

[Snoozey-summer]

I've been on citalopram 20mg for a few years after having my kids. I gradually was trying to reduced it and it seemed to be going well. Then I went on holiday, ran out of meds and so just stayed off. Then I got very anxious, racing thoughts, a feeling of not being in the moment and a feeling of watching a movie with the sound turned down! My obsessive thoughts returned relating to my kids (I had bad baby name remorse of all things!) and also a feeling of not really know who I am. That sounds so weird but I sort of disconnect from myself.

So when I came back I started on 5mg per day. I seem to have stabilised but still get foggy mind moments where I can't concentrate or focus, and moments where I get a welling up of emotion and feel like I need to cry to let it out. The name remorse has subsided thank god as that it beyond horrible.

Are these withdrawal symptoms or is it just me and my anxiety??

Can I ever get off this drug?

[panic_down_under]

I gradually was trying to reduced it and it seemed to be going well. Then I went on holiday, ran out of meds and so just stayed off. Then I got very anxious, racing thoughts, a feeling of not being in the moment and a feeling of watching a movie with the sound turned down!

Welcome to No More Panic,

How much citalopram were you taking when you ran out and did the anxiety and other symptoms start almost immediately or some time later?

[Snoozey-summer]

When I was reducing it I was taking 10mg every 3 days which probably isn't the way to do it (now I am halving tablets and taking 5mg every day) and the anxiety came about almost straight away once I had stopped completely - probably a few days later. We were on a trip to Australia so I kept thinking - maybe it's just jet lag?... it's so hard to understand the cause

---------- Post added at 13:54 ---------- Previous post was at 13:44 ----------

When I returned to the UK the symptoms were still present for a few weeks even though I started taking 5mg daily and then seemed to subside. Then I had the brain fog feeling I did try to do lots of cardio at the gym this time. That helped a bit. It's trying to get a handle on it before it grips you.

... also, just to add, I'm pretty good when I'm with friends. It's when I'm on my own - that's when the spinning thoughts begin. It's like being trapped in my head.

I've also tried meditation but it never seems to help when I have my anxiety - it's more preventative....

[panic_down_under]

When I was reducing it I was taking 10mg every 3 days which probably isn't the way to do it

No, it definitely isn't. However, if you were able to get the dose down this low without inducing withdrawal then it may not have been the main factor in what happened after you ran out of tablets.

We were on a trip to Australia so I kept thinking - maybe it's just jet lag?... it's so hard to understand the cause

I suspect it was a combination of many factors, some withdrawal, the stress of the trip, jet lag, etc.

When I returned to the UK the symptoms were still present for a few weeks even though I started taking 5mg daily and then seemed to subside.

5mg is well short of the usual 20mg minimum therapeutic dose so is unlikely to be doing much. Antidepressants have no direct effect on anxiety, or depression in the way say aspirin has on a headache. They work by stimulating the growth of new brain cells (neurogenesis) to replace cells killed, or prevented from growing by high brain stress hormone levels. The therapeutic response is produced by these new cells and the stronger interconnections they forge, not the meds directly. For a more detailed explanation see: How antidepressant drugs act.

Taking sub therapeutic antidepressant doses for long periods may risk 'training' the brain to ignore the med increasing the odds of it pooping-out when needed most so it would probably be better to quit it completely if you don't wish to take 20mg again.

[lior]

Best thing to do is to talk to your doctor rather than hear it off us.
Different doctors will tell you different things.
Have you been in any therapy as well as being on meds?

I've come off citalopram before, and it was a case of being on 10mg for a while (coming down slowly from 30mg), then every other day, then I just forgot to take them any more.
I went on them again a couple of years ago and I've just gone down from 20mg to 10mg with barely any side effects.
Everyone has different experiences.
You WILL be able to get off this, when the time is right