Mole worriers please read (advice)

[Cocobro1015]

So if this is the wrong place to post this I apologize...but I wanted to reach out to fellow mole/skin obsessers and share something that I have had success with.
If you read through my past posts, you'll see it's 90% skin cancer related health anxiety. It sucks. I've dealt with every other make believe disease but this is by far the worst. Why? Because I can SEE my skin. A mole is not necessarily something you can slough off as anxiety, the way you can with chest pain, twitching, and shortness of breath. (Obviously, this thread is directed at those who HAVE seen the dr and have been given the OK, but can't accept it. Please see a dr/dermatologist if any skin/other issue is bothering you and hasn't been checked)

Anywho, so I have said it in the past and I'll say it again, I wish I could have every spot on my body removed. I believe it would solve my anxiety and I could go on living a happy life, free from health worries. Now, that's just what I believe. Is it the truth?? NOOOOO. I have felt this way leading up to every ultrasound, blood test, Pap smear, skin biopsy, you name it. It has not worked out that way in the past and it won't work out that way in the future despite getting the all clear each time. Health anxiety is something I (and a lot of you too) will have to manage for the rest of our lives. And I've found great success in accepting that and allowing myself to feel the discomfort. Also therapy. Therapy is great.

Ok I'll stop rambling. So I have one more mole that bothers me. I've had it looked at 3 times but 3 different derms(ridiculous). None think it's even one that needs to be "watched" but in my head I look at it and see something completely different and scary. I've had moments where I wanna run back to the dermatologist and beg them to take it off and biopsy it so I can spend another week under a rock, damaging relationships, falling behind at work, drinking too much, and letting my house slip in to absolute disarray only to hear it's benign. Those of us with health anxiety can't stand uncertainty. It makes us wanna crawl out of our skin (mole worriers especially, get it) but the uncertainty of leaving this mole on my leg has become less and less interesting. Being completely candid with you all, I still check it obsessively. However, it doesn't invoke the same fear response I would've gotten from something similar a month ago. Or when I first decided it was "bad". Sometimes I get the little fear "pang" when I look at it or think about it, but I am almost always able to get through it and ENJOY (for real, like actually enjoy) the rest of my day. To me, this mole symbolizes a part of my self that I don't want. I don't want anxiety, I want to be rid of it and be normal. But it's a part of ME that I have to accept. I have to face it, I have to deal with the discomfort and walk through it. If you walk through the discomfort, you leave it behind you. If you run away from it, it's still there between where you are and where you want to be. Don't fear your body. Don't fear the misdiagnosis stories (they are sooooo rare) Dont fear the doctor and don't fear the uncertainty. Again, being candid, today was actually not my strongest day. But I got back up after I fell and now i feel stronger than I did this morning. It gets better, but you have to face it. Feel it. Live it. Accept it. So all of this to say, if there is a mole (or something else) that the dr says is OK, trust them. Don't run back and demand it gets taken off. Our gut instincts are skewed as fishmanpa once said to me. If you leave it, you have to deal with your anxiety and that is the only way this gets better.

Sorry to ramble, hopefully this helps somebody struggling with this atm

[Vikingbeast]

Been there, done that. THANKS for the story, advice and support!

[Twisted-Melody]

This was very comforting to read, thank you. I posted about a melanoma/ mole worry a few weeks ago and no-one responded :( I had a little black dot appear on it, scratched it off, and went to see my dermatologist. She said it was fine, but I doubted her. A new dot has appeared again and now I have anxiety. I want to go back to her, or get a second opion, but when I can think logically, I trust her diagnosis. The anxiety is awful but I believe you're right saying having it removed is like running away. I will try and face my fears

[jaynespain3105]

Thank you so much for this. I've posted about my own mole-worries recently. In fact, the one I was worrying so much about last week (it had become inflamed and then scabbed over after I got covered in insect bites) has now completely healed. But in the aftermath and comedown of constant worry about that mole, I have now become obsessed with others, others that I've always had/haven't changed as far as I know/ have been checked before and feel so on edge about what to do.

Should I go to the doctor? etc.

A few years ago I had a mole I was CERTAIN was cancerous. I went to the GP. Twice. Both times I was told it was nothing to worry about. Eventually i booked a private consultation with a specialist about it. They also said it was nothing to worry about. I then continued to worry so paid privately to have it removed and biopsied. I spent two weeks awaiting the results not being able to live life at all. In the end I'd spent about £500 and lost months of happiness. And of course it turned out to be nothing.

You're so right about learning to live with the marks on my body. My therapist once said I needed to be less afraid to actually 'feel' my anxiety. To acknowledge it. And that's what you're saying I feel.

Thank you for your comforting words.