Anyone Else Feel Like OCD Will Never Be Satisfied?

[MariMari19]

So my OCD is bound to my thoughts. I spend countless hours with the what ifs.

My current plague is thinking if Ive cheated. I think I have sexted or sent nudes. Even from events that happened 2 years ago! This of course means I cant have proof, and it makes it a touch more difficult to calm the beast.

For example. There was a time in my relationship that I thought I was for sure going to break up with my SO. It appeared he had ghosted me, and me coming from a bad relationship before him. My guard was up. I began to start moving on to other guys. I posted my number online. I got a couple messages and there was this one guy I talked to. I was so afraid I had sexted him.

So I "confessed" to my boyfriend, he said it was fine because of the circumstance. IMMIDIATLY I went to the time this guy messaged me days later, I remember we had small talk, and then we just stopped talking. I thought....what if you sent nudes then huh? or what if you sexted him then huh?



I feel like I could be forgiven for all my "sins" in this world and the OCD will still not be satisfied. Am I alone here?

[Sollace]

It's much the same as having to keep on checking a door to ensure you've locked it- or constant self examination to prove to yourself that you don't have a specific condition. You could have definite proof and you may still begin to question it.

Personally, if it's not about self examination over illness for me, it's obsessing over how I answered a test- whether or not I definitely wrote down the answer I arrived at and so forth. Whilst this doesn't work for my health worries, if it's something else- such as obsessing over what my answer was, whether I said something to somebody I never should have then you need to convince yourself that even if you have, it's in the past. You can't change it, so you need to be fickle about it. It's far easier said than done, and you may feel you're being dishonest with yourself, but eventually I'm sure you just become so tired of obsessing over something you're not even certain happened that you can certainly be forgiven for it.

I'd try to be more careful about confessing over things you didn't necessarily do, however. It's definitely something to work on, as you're degrading your own character for no reason, and you don't deserve that.