13yr old son and OCD

[psychocandy]

Always been a bit of a quiet lad. For some time,we noticed issues with excessive hand washing, Its just got worse...

We had a talk to him and he seems to stress about dirty bathrooms etc. Also it seems to have moved onto other people - he wont go near people because they are dirty in his eyes.

In the past hes got school to call us saying hes ill - now looks like it was a toilet issue and this was an excuse.

Hes got worse recently. He wont touch his little sister (4) which upsets her a lot. LAst night he freaked because she touched him and lathered anti-bac gel on his whole arm.

We've tried to tell him he cant do that. Also, hes been a bit strange walking in certain rooms - he walks around the edge and jumps over bits. But hes bare foot and wont wear slippers! Think this is a cat pee issue in his head.

Conversely, his bedroom is a complete tip. Standard teenager I guess but that doesnt bother him! Also, his personal hygiene could be better- again standard teenager but that doesnt bother him either.

Anyway, GP has now referred him but theres a waiting list. However, we're planning to pay for counselling also.

We've bought anti-bac gel for the bathrooms, we've spoken to school and he can use disabled toilet in the future (well its summer hols now). I know you're not really supposed to validate his behaviour but these seemed like small things. With regards to his touching other people, well its not a problem for us his parents but his little sister doesnt understand so we're going to have to stop that.

We're going on holidays in 5 weeks. So thats 8 hours sitting next to someone on a plane, toilets on the plane, villa, public toilets when we get there. Its not going to be easy!

Advice gratefully recieved? Do we pander to him and give him some slack or do we not allow him to be like this? Some of the things we can be a little flexible on but some its just not going to be possible.....

[MyNameIsTerry]

It must be tough watching your son going through this.

Conducting compulsions will only reinforce it, as you know, but trying to stop them will mean exposure to the feelings he won't be understanding and it will be distressing for him. Working on that less intensively will allow him to adjust bit by bit and that's why gradual exposure is the standard treatment in CBT for OCD.

It would be worth educating him about it all. He's probably feeling a lot of strange feelings about all this and not understanding why he is really doing it. I found learning I wasn't going crazy by reading about OCD helped to take the sting out a bit.

It's a difficult age for various reasons. I've never come across an OCDer on here who hasn't found stress to be a trigger. So, it's he under any stress? Maybe even self imposed due to the changes he's now going through or peer pressure? Is he finding school work hard? Things like that give you the ability to intervene in a more practical way.

Healthy behaviours are important too. Is he isolating himself? What would help him to enjoy his life more and build his confidence & self esteem? Again, this is where you can help him.

The fact he has issues with contamination yet lives in the normal tip just shows you how irrational it all is. He won't realise fully why but can learn from you why his thoughts are biased & irrational.

Good luck, I wish you well with it. I hope he gets some help from CAMHS.

There is a charity in my city for mental health issues and they have seperate groups for young people that are aimed to be specific to their needs. Maybe worth a look to see if you have something like that near you?

[psychocandy]

It must be tough watching your son going through this.

Conducting compulsions will only reinforce it, as you know, but trying to stop them will mean exposure to the feelings he won't be understanding and it will be distressing for him. Working on that less intensively will allow him to adjust bit by bit and that's why gradual exposure is the standard treatment in CBT for OCD.

It would be worth educating him about it all. He's probably feeling a lot of strange feelings about all this and not understanding why he is really doing it. I found learning I wasn't going crazy by reading about OCD helped to take the sting out a bit.

It's a difficult age for various reasons. I've never come across an OCDer on here who hasn't found stress to be a trigger. So, it's he under any stress? Maybe even self imposed due to the changes he's now going through or peer pressure? Is he finding school work hard? Things like that give you the ability to intervene in a more practical way.

Healthy behaviours are important too. Is he isolating himself? What would help him to enjoy his life more and build his confidence & self esteem? Again, this is where you can help him.

The fact he has issues with contamination yet lives in the normal tip just shows you how irrational it all is. He won't realise fully why but can learn from you why his thoughts are biased & irrational.

Good luck, I wish you well with it. I hope he gets some help from CAMHS.

There is a charity in my city for mental health issues and they have seperate groups for young people that are aimed to be specific to their needs. Maybe worth a look to see if you have something like that near you?

Thanks Terry. Hes had a lot going on inc an incident at school that shook him up a bit.

Yes been in touch with a few local places.

[AntsyVee]

There's a good book for kids called, "Up and Down the Worry Hill." Maybe you all should try reading it together as a family.

[amu28]

Your post made me cry as it made me think about my childhood OCD (though I was younger). Walking on edges because if I step in the middle my parents will die. Afraid to touch a classmate as I was scared she will give me HIV. (She didn't have HIV of course.)

My parents didn't take me to a doctor. Please take him, he needs CBT at least. Also I had no idea what this illness was and thought I was crazy. He needs to know this is a normal illness like any other.