Not so much a dilema but rather a question of me been too forgiving and trusting.
When i trained to be a prison officer i became good friends with Shaz and throught the training and the first two years at work we were inseparable. We went abroad togethe and spent all our spare time together. She was there when my dad died and had Sam whenever she could but suddenly due to prison rumour and bitchiness we or should i say she stopped talking to me.
I kept asking her what her problem was but she dismissed me and said nothing. Well recently due to work we have started speaking again and went for a coffee on monday, talked about old times but not why we fell out.
I was fine with that but since then she has sent me email apologising for how she treated me and said it wasnt my illness that put her off but she listened to other people and let that influence her opinion of me. Since then she has been off with depression and on many occasions i have wanted to call her because i know how hard it is to go it alone.
She told me tonight that i was probably the bestest friend she had ever had and she hoped we could rebuild on that and maybe one day laugh at the past. Throughout it i did miss her and when she stopped talking to me it killed me and hurt alot, so am i letting her hurt me again or should i trust that she has regrets and we can be as close as we were.
In an ideal world spending monday tlking to her then on tuesday she called in my office and had bought me some lunch and all i saw was the Shaz that was my best mate and i was touched that she had gone out and thought of me.
Maybe i am to soft but i just want an easy life and people in it that count to me.
Love Sal xxxxx