Oh no. Coming to that time of the month again

[JennyW]

I have a fear of cancer and it's just not getting any better. I even dread doing my monthly breast exam because I'm worried I'm going to find something. I've had a couple of scares in the past but nothing more than the odd lump but I'm still so scared that one month, during my check, I'll find something. In fact I'm getting obsessed with my breasts, every twinge or sore spot then I'm convinced I've got breast cancer. I've been through hell this month waiting to check myself and I wish I could feel better.

I've also been googling but I cant help it....

I'm due Sunday and was having a quick check this morning (although I know breasts are more lumpy and tender just before) - it's ridiculous but I still do it.

oh, just to add, I'm not a new member but had to register again

Can anyone help me to stop feeling like this

[yorkylover]

you need to stop googling,it makes anxiety 100 times worse.
Have you had any counselling.
hugs for you

[Firefly]

Why do you think that you dread getting the exam? Does it cause you any relief when you go to your exam and find out that there is no cancer?

[Firefly]

Also - as hard as it is, you should swear off googling! It is not a good resource! I agree with you yorkylover!

[lass]

Hey, I'm exactly the same. And I'm worse when I'm stressed. I had a breast lump about 18 months ago - luckily turned out to be nothing. But since then I am obsessive and, like you say, check at times when I know I have lumpiness, which worries me all the more.

It's like I have to go looking for stuff to worry about

All I can say is that, when I am not-so-anxious I don't think about it too much. So I guess I need to keep working at reducing the stress in my life and keeping myself relatively calm.

[geordie flower]

hiya, I wish I could be like you! My mam had breast cancer and have to have a masectomy 5 years ago, thankfully she is ok now but I just cant bring myself to check myself incase I find anything, stupid I know! Well done to you though you are doing the right thing tracey xxx

[nanny]

Hi All

As far as checking your breasts are concerned i'm in a catch 22 situation.
For years i have suffered with mastitis (thought only cows got that lol ) so i have lumps all the time. so really i wouldn't know the difference between one lump or the next but on saying that i did once find a lump, round and the size of a pea, went straight to doc straight up hospital and it turned out to be mastitis yet again, so although ashamed to say it i no longer check...wrong i know.

[JennyW]

Why do you think that you dread getting the exam? Does it cause you any relief when you go to your exam and find out that there is no cancer?

I just find that I spend each month thinking about it and worrying, I then have my period, wait a few days then check myself. I'm then OK and relieved for a few days because it all feels fine, then i start worrying again ready for the next time

I must stop googling, i must stop googling, I must stop googling.........

[JennyW]

you need to stop googling,it makes anxiety 100 times worse.
Have you had any counselling.
hugs for you

well I'm still receiving counselling for the death of my father (almost 3 years ago) - and this is where all my anxiety stems from and we do discuss it then but it doesn't stop me worrying about it. I'm just scared I'm going to get cancer.

[Amanda3266]

Hi Jenny,

I have had a fear of illness (mainly cancer) going back many years - my Mum has it too and so did my Nan (who died at the ripe old age of 92 - and not from cancer either).

I can really sympathise with this as it becomes almost obsessive. For me it's not specifically breast cancer but any odd symptom which can send me over the edge. I have got on top of it a bit - I certainly no longer Google (really really NOT worth it - especially as it only ever seems to find the hideous stuff) For the same reason I've also stopped looking in the medical library at all the hideous disease in the books (am a nurse and health visitor - don't laugh ).

I don't know if you have spoken to your GP about this but my Mum has got an almost cure from Seroxat - her anxieties are much more under control and at the age of 62 she simply says "I spent too many years of my life worrying about things for no good reason"

I am not so bad these days but it still doesn't take much to send me into overdrive and sheer panic

The breast cancer thing can be frightening because it's so high profile - it might help to remember that the vast majority of cases are in women over the age of 65 and that more than 9 cases out of 10 that get referred to the breats clinic turn out NOT to be cancer but some other problem (cysts etc). Breast pain is often hormonal or muscle strain - ever looked at how much muscle supports the breasts?

Easy to think about these things but less easy to deal with the "but what if....." voice that us health anxiety people always seem to have in our heads.
You have my empathy - I know how dreadful these anxieties are and how awful it makes us all feel. Sending you a BIG HUG. You're due tomorrow, you may have PMT and your breasts will probably be tender and lumpy - more than enough reason for a hug.