Long term health anxiety

[Amanda3266]

Hi,

Just re-introducing myself. Found this forum a few years ago when it was fabulous after I had developed post natal depression.
Health anxiety runs in our family. My Nan had it, my Mum had it (until they put her on Seroxat which has worked miracles for her) and I have it too.

Most of the time I dio have it under control, however, I also have an eating disorder (am a binge eater) which means I eat rather unhealthily at times - up to six bags of crisps (all that salt) in a full blown binge. Just recently this has been worse because work is stressful. I am a Health Visitor (please - nobody laugh) and instead of a caseload of 250 children I have a caseload of 750 children (we are shortstaffed although this will be ease in August when somebody else starts).

I have real guilt issues over the way I eat and because of this any minor symptom is blown up out of all proportion. I always assume it's a sign of something serious due to the way I abuse my body.

Today I noticed a small blister at the base of my tummy (just above my pubic bone). Now I am overweight (so there is a bit of an overhang (TMI sorry), it's been hot and this is a fluid filled blister. In my head though it is now a sign of major illness (5 bags of cruisps today but am now too paralyzed with fear to eat.).
My Mum understands so I phoned her and she has reasurred me a bit - she says she has spent too many years worrying for nothing. Wish I could reach that point. I ended up crying down the phone that I felt guilty about my weight and eating - abusing my body etc - my luck has to run out soon.
I have calmed down a bit and have also drunk a large glass of Baileys (not good I know but it has helped calm me down).
It's a BH weekend and I'll go and chat with my GP next week - am not on any medication at the moment and think I need it.
Must go as my 4 year old is crying (tired out) and needs Mummy.

[spuds]

This sounds like a blister caused by friction and sweat in the folds of skin under your tummy. A small single blister like that is not a symptom of any disease (serious or minor) that I have ever heard of.

I have lost a stone at Weight Watchers (taken over 6 months because I am not very disciplined and on HRT), my friend has lost 2 and a half stone in the same time. It is worth trying these kind of groups (even if you've been before and not stuck it out) because they are full of people like us, and the people there won't judge you. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues to deal with too, but the WW would be a good start and the meetings are good fun too. I'm sure the blister is nothing to worry about, I get soreness under my tummy too at times.

[Amanda3266]

Thanks for your reply Spuds . Am much calmer now - have spoken again to my Mum and also had a good long cuddle with my 4 year old - who is warm and snuggly at bedtime. Feeling better - have even managed to eat something (healthy). Have got the WW stuff (as I am a veteran of these groups) and funnily enough had already pulled it out for some inspiration. A, off to make Low Point (as opposed to No Point) soup with lots of goodies in it kidney beans etc.

[spuds]

Carrot and coriander soup is no points - I'm going to have to live off that for a few weeks as I've eaten loads of rubbish this weekend.

[Amanda3266]

Blister is almost dry this morning (not quite but nearly there).
Have resolved NOT to look at it for a few days and give it a chance to heal. My Mum on the otherhand (recovered from health anxiety) thinks I positively SHOULD look at it and tell myself each time "it's a blister".
She says she used to be even worse than me about blisters/skin things and would have picked at it and made it worse while obsessing about what it might or might not be.

It is guilt about how I eat I know. Have had lots of counselling from an Eating Disorder Service so I am fully aware of why I get in this state. My Mum pointed out that being overweight was a family failing (I certainly take after her and my grandmother), there are lots of people out there much bigger than me who don't get themselves in this state (including my sister in law who is much bigger than me).

Meant to make low point soup (Weight Watchers) last night but didn't so will do it this morning and then take my little boy out somewhere so we get out of the house. It's raining but we can wrap up - the local National Trust garden seems inviting and we can enjoy it while getting some exercise.

I am also going to start swimming again. I am known to swim up to 50 lengths a time (takes me about 45-60 mins) and I've found it a really good stress buster in the past

It seems to me that lots of stress has got on top of me and I haven't dealt with it that well - the eating problem has got worse (which makes me feel guilty) and then a small blister has tipped me over the edge again. It's probably been a year since I last did this health anxiety thing to myself so it's not regular anymore.
After I had calmed down and spoken to my Mum again last night I went to bed with the iPod and put on the Paul McKenna Relaxation programme which came free with a newspaper months ago. First time I had listened to and it was fabulous - the man has SUCH a relaxing voice. Am going to get the weight loss programme thing when I get paid again next week - have heard good things about it. I 'll be trying to use the Relaxation thing each evening as it's obvious I need to be sceduling in some relaxation time.

Thank you again to anyone who reads this thread - just knowing there are other people out there who understand is helpful. I feel so loopy at times about myself.

[spuds]

I got that CD free too but haven't tried it yet. I must dig it out now you recommend it. Being overweight is not a big deal, but I know that feeling healthier will help my mental health. I'm glad you are feeling better.