We have a mental health resource centre in town which hosts various groups; one which I attended until mid January was the social drop in which takes place each Friday evening. At that point I was very fragile and a couple of people there got too much for me and found unable to return. I wanted to get back but often I did not have the strength to do so.
I also hold my anxiety support groups there twice a month and felt I had to attend these as I'd letting people down, but these became difficult as no doubt the venue became emotionally 'unsafe'.
Recently I have becoming all too aware that all this isolation was too much for my own good, as I'm in great need of company and emotional support.
The breakthrough came when I was able to get a co-facilitator to share the running of my own group which met this Wednesday, and so I had extra motivation to get there. As it turned out, it all went very well - she being a young psychologist rather than a sufferer which gives a bit of positivity to things.
I should say at this point that I have been struggling for the past 10 days and this last Tuesday I felt really depressed all day with a total lack of energy. As luck would have it, the depression support group meets each Tuesday so went along to that, and again I found this very comforting. I did know two of the people there, but again this was run by a psychology postgraduate which was good.
Last night was rather different though, as I went to the social drop in. We don't discuss issues there and people attending suffer from all sorts of mental problems. Horror of horrors, they have changed the format since I last went and now have more themed events. Last night, they showed a video (a psycho movie) which certainly didn't go down well with me as I found it rather unsocial with little chance to chat - and I watch very few films anyway.
So, I have been out three evenings this week, which is as much as I've done over the past 2 or 3 months!