New Start

[Jimbo]

Had a horrible night's sleep last night for some reason, I was awake every couple of hours. Seems as though the quetiapine isn't working as well as it did when I first started taking it, it used to completely knock me out for hours. I'm only taking 50mgs in the evening, maybe I should ask to increase it?

I feel ok despite being a bit tired today, loving my new coloured sitting room, it's so much better than the awful red it was before. My mum also called me earlier and had a good long chat with her which was comforting. She's gonna give me her old washing machine, so I can stop hand washing as soon as I get that.

It's yucky hot, muggy weather down here, I walked to the supermarket and back and thought I was going to pass out on the way back. I eventually got home absolutely drenched in sweat.

Hope everyone is ok today.

Jim

[Jimbo]

Had my group today, it was kinda boring, I just felt like I was watching the clock constantly as a lot of it didn't seem relevant to me. We are doing comunication skills and assertiveness type stuff, which I have done so many courses on in my previous jobs I know most of it already.

My sleep has gone a bit haywire over the last few days, I just feel exausted now but I don't want to sleep now as it will mess up my sleep tonight.

Everyone seems a bit quiet at the moment, or is it just me?

Jim

[Piglet]

I wonder if your sleep is affected Jim cos its been abit hot the last few nights - I try not to sleep in the day too cos I know that messes my night time sleep up but sometimes a big wave of sleepiness just comes over me!!

Well done for going today - its hard when it's stuff you've already covered I'm sure!!

Love Piglet

[Jimbo]

Thanks Piglet,

You could be right, it's been very hot here, not cooling down till late and is getting light very early. I have managed to block most of the light out of my bedroom, but I still seem to wake up when the sun rises, then at 6 and then at 8. I think the trouble is getting off to sleep, I seem to sleep well when I actually get to bed, but I just don't seem to be getting tired enough till 1-2am at the moment. It then catches up on me and I just can't stay awake during the day.

I'm just feeling a bit odd at the moment, I can't decide how I'm feeling. I think the lonelyness is getting to me a bit. I know the only solution to that is to go out more and meet people, but I find going out so hard and I'm so anxious that I don't enjoy it, let alone make friends with people. That makes me want to stay in more and thus feel more lonely. I can't see any way to break the cycle.

I'm feeling a bit odd about my therapy this morning too. I think I might have come across as being a bit arrogant and angry about stuff. It feels like I wasn't acting normally and feels a bit dream like this morning. I'm normally pretty quiet in the group and don't speak much, but they couldn't shut me up today, I was even interupting and talking over people, which isn't me at all.

I think maybe it's the tiredness getting to me, I seem to be at my worst when my sleep is disturbed. I see my GP on wed so will mention it I think. I also have to do something about the migraines and headaches I'm getting as they seem to be getting worse again. They seem to correlate with my anxiety and stress levels. I kinda want to go back on the codeine again as it's the only thing that works, but I definately don't want to end up constipated like last time.

Jim

[happyone]

Hi bud!

Don't know what to suggest mate, the quetiapine works wonders for me and my shrink wants to take me off it!!!!!!! I can't believe I am actually saying this but if I agree to take the lithium I am going to ask for something to help me sleep. I know how horrid it is when sleep deprivation hits, I hate it so much and it does cloud how you behave, definately.
Try not to worry how you were in therapy, they'll have their turn of being talkative and talking over etc. You maybe just let it all go at once, I believe it takes a while to get into these things.
Happyone
xx

[Piglet]

I also have to do something about the migraines and headaches I'm getting as they seem to be getting worse again. They seem to correlate with my anxiety and stress levels.

Ahh well funnily enough there have been an abundance of headaches over at my house too. I've been dishing out painkillers to more than a few folk over the last few days.

Personally I think its dehydration with me - if I don't drink enough I get a cracker of a headache and it can last even into the next day. I then start clenching my jaw cos I'm tense cos of the headache and before you know it I have a nice big cycle going on!!

I must remember to drink even when not thirsty - remind me everyday Jim please lol!!

Piglet

[Under~The~Stars]

Have a hug from me hun (((((JIM)))))

Take it easy hunny,

Lou xxx

[Jimbo]

I ended up falling asleep earlier, I was fighting trying to stay awake but it didn't happen.

I'm sure it's not dehydration as I always drink lots of liquids, usually about 10 pints (5 litres) a day, no wonder I'm always going to the loo. I've always suffered from migraines, which usually are caused by not eating and sleeping properly, which is an issue at the moment without a fridge. But I also just get plain stress headaches from jaw and shoulder clenching like you Piglet.

Remember to drink piglet.

Happyone, I'm not sure but I think I might have to come off the quetiapine at some point too, they don't seem keen on people being on it long term, I think you can develop some nasty side effects with long term use like 'movement disorders'. I do find myself getting a bit twitchy on them sometimes but nothing too serious, I hope I don't have to come off them as they are a wonder drug imo.

The therapy was odd, I still don't feel right about it. It's not like I was actually saying anything important, I was just acting all super confident and arrogant, babbling away I think.

Been distracting myself getting some new music in preperation for Glastonbury, loving Sigur Ros and Klaxons, will definately be seeing them.

Have a good evening all,

Jim

[happyone]

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! What do yoy mean quetiapine has long term effects????? I missed out on that when I was looking it up!!!! I do get twitchy, oh god I am freaking now. Sorry jim, I know this is your thread but this has really got to me.
The only good thing to have happened to me in these past few months is quetiapine, well in terms of meds I mean.
God what do I sound like. Sorry jim, got a bit carried away there.

The therapy was odd, I still don't feel right about it. It's not like I was actually saying anything important, I was just acting all super confident and arrogant, babbling away I think.

We have spoken before about the similarities in BPD and bi polar. I do this when I am feeling good. I think I am dead funny though and make jokes in in appropriate places and think that those around me are dead pan. I get embarassed later Strange though, I also get arrogant and I am so not an arrogant person. It really takes people by surprise. But then I think 'is this bi polar or me just trying to get out?'

Don't worry bud, you're in good company with me!
Happyone
xx

[Jimbo]

Lol Happy, you make me chuckle!

I'm not too worried about the quetiapine, I don't know what dose you are on, but anything below 100mgs is considered a low dose I think. It's normally used for psychosis and people would be on a much higher dose, so I'm guessing / hoping it doesn't cause too many problems for me. It definately helps more than the problems it causes, the only thing is I think I'm getting tolerant to it, it definately doesn't work as well as when I first started taking it. I think the main problem is it's a very new drug so they don't really know what it does in the long term. It also costs the NHS a fortune, it's not licensed for generic tablets yet so Astrazenica (spelling) probably charge them a fortune for the tablets, which is the other reason they don't like prescribing it.

I'm not an expert on bipolar but I think it does sound very similar in terms of the mood swings, I thought that with bp they last weeks / months rather than hours / days like they do with bpd? I often wonder if they've got me all wrong, I think the only reason I've been stuck in that bracket is because of the self harm.

Rambling now... I've opened a bottle of wine and am drinking it with a pack of chocolate biscuits.

Jim