Do your partners spot your panic?

[Kate21]

I've had a lot of weddings to attend recently which has been very hard as they have all been my partners friends and full of people I don't know.
Whilst I have enjoyed them and met some nice people I still find these social events like an endurance test and once people are drunk then the real fear sets in.
Last night my partner wanted to go to a bar after the wedding and it was so loud and busy (it was basically my own personal hell!) and he was very drunk.
I started to get the tight chest and struggling with my breathing and feeling like if I didn't leave I would cry.
I feel really angry towards my partner like he should notice my unease and let me go home. I told him I didn't feel well.
I know it's unreasonable to expect a drunk person to notice the panic, but to me I feel like it's blindingly obvious that I'm dying inside!
In the end I told him I needed to leave and he was really moody with me then.
I wish he could have a panic attack just once to understand it

[Pepperpot]

I feel your pain. Mr Pepperpot has no clue, drunk or sober x

[Kate21]

It's making me resent him. I sent him an article about anxiety to try help him understand but he said I'm letting it consume me! Well yes it is consuming me why the hell does he think I'm taking medication for it. I feel like running away from him and everyone.
Why is he with me if I just annoy him or I'm not how he wants me to be?

[Fishmanpa]

I can relate in that I can recognize when my daughter is having some trouble. She has certain physical tics and behaviors and when she talks too fast? I know she's struggling. I'll say... "Anxiety kicking in?" and she'll say.. "Why am I talking too fast?" "Yeah" and we both chuckle a bit. Then I just say, "take a breath and talk to me".... As I do here, I put things in perspective and it helps her.

I'm proud of her in that she works hard to keep the dragon at bay and is pretty successful at doing so.

If you're in therapy, perhaps arranging a session or two that he can be part of to help him better understand may be useful. Hopefully you find a way to involve your partner in a positive way that will help both of you.

Positive thoughts

[Kate21]

Thank you �� that sounds like me and my Mum. She always makes me feel better.
I'm not in therapy yet I was waiting for my meds to kick in and until I felt ready, I just couldn't face it before. I think I'm getting to the stage where I need to go now and feel ready to try and figure out and manage things. I'm not sure if he would go with me, I know deep down he does care and love me but it's very frustrating because it feels like he wants me to be better so he doesn't feel bad. It's probably not true but it's how I feel.
Thank you for the kind words x

---------- Post added at 22:06 ---------- Previous post was at 22:03 ----------

Sorry about the question marks I was trying to put a smily face!

[Clydesdale Epona]

In the past partners have been confused over when i'm panicking and one partner even used to think I was just being a "sissy" but my current partner these days he seems to notice when i'm about to have a panic attack or episode before I do haha, he usually pulls me away from situations when I do and we go outside or somewhere quieter for a chill and for him a few vape puffs. we have a ruling with shopping centers where I just give him a signal and he gets me a hot chocolate and we go outside in the quiet for some cocoa and a smoke. it was hard at first but he would rather me make a scene and we go then me suffer in silence but he is someone who is rather careless to what others think x
if they're the right one they'll understand and be there no matter what

Best wishes

[Kate21]

Your partner sounds lovely. Thanks for the reassurance. I got upset when I saw him last night, he just wants me to be able to get out and do thinks and that will help. It will help but he doesn't understand how hard it can be to leave the house sometimes

[nikita]

Fishmanpa what you say to your daughter sounds lovely - what a great Dad.
Kate -I've just started seeing somebody and my anxiety has got 10 times worse as i am trying so hard to hide it from him. It ties me up in knots.

[Midnight-mouse]

My partner notices my panic before I even know what's up a lot of the time. Even blind drunk he has always put my needs above his in the sense of my anxiety, OCD and phobias. I will never forget that he was so apologetic the last time he ended up vomiting due to alcohol, even though he got me out the room and made sure I had noise cancelling headphones (I'm severely emetophobic)


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[MadWomanintheAttik]

My partner notices when im upset about anything. It's one of the things i really love about him. I believe he knows the difference between when im just upset and hsving a panic attack. He also knows im an introvert and that social situations cause me anxiety so he doesnt force those situations on me. Before i met him i kept my panic attacks secret and just dealt with them alone, im glad he knows and sometimes he even helps me through them.