Intrusive thoughts, OCD, Pure O

[24anonym]

I have been having intrusive thoughts for about 3 years.

The intrusive thoughts started out because of a traumatic experience associated with a feeling of guilt and started as images of an ex partner whilst being with a current partner. The content/nature/process of the thoughts have since then developed and spread onto virtually anything. From very banal and mundane thoughts to extremely shocking or embarrassing ones, no matter what the nature of them is, I can be obsessive about them and they can be very distressing. Does anybody else have obsessions or intrusions of thoughts that are not necessarily shocking or embarrassing?

Also, some of my intrusive thoughts are sometimes very random/visual/trippy. They sometimes feel hallucinogenic, although I am sure that I am not actually hallucinating. I once had the thought that I was inhabited by someone else. These kinds of thoughts make me feel like I am losing my mind. Has anybody else experienced thoughts that are visual, trippy, random or of a similar nature? has anybody experienced such thoughts in an intrusive or uncontrollable way or felt that they were losing their mind?

My intrusive thoughts used to happen at moments when I least wanted them to, but now also happen at random times, or, my mind will constantly create new circumstances in which I find it distressing to experience them. I will often feel anxious because my mind comes up with a new intrusive thought or thought process and I think that I will be stuck with it (or: “what if I am stuck with it”). Upon doing research, I have realised that I experience intrusive thoughts that are similar to other people’s (which created a sense of relief) but I find I also experience some that are not at all, or some that are very special/personal to me. Some of my thoughts could be put in the categories of thoughts that people experience (violence, sex, paedophilia etc.), but some can’t. Does anybody find this too? Does anybody have intrusive thoughts that they feel no one else can have?

If anyone has experienced something they feel might be similar to what I have described so far, or if they simply have a very different experience they feel might be relevant, all is very welcome.

I also wanted to ask about mindfulness. I feel like before I suffered from intrusive thoughts, I would be very good at letting go of worries and thoughts and I found mindfulness exercises useful. However, I find doing mindfulness to deal with intrusive thoughts difficult. When I do mindfulness I inevitably produce intrusive or unwanted thoughts and I will try to be non judgemental of them, try not to get rid of them and accept them with no bad or good feeling associated to them, but it still causes distress and I find it hard to assess whether it’s helping me or not.

I was wondering if anybody had any useful experiences to share on intrusive thoughts and mindfulness, or on OCD/Pure O and mindfulness.

Thank you very much.

[nervynelly]

I started having disturbing intrusive thoughts over a year ago, which gave me bad insomnia. They always came as images they genuinely disgusted me, I worried that there was something wrong with me until I went to the doctor and they assured me that they were nothing to worry about. Everyone has random thoughts and images that briefly appear, but they can identify that they are not your feelings, and these thoughts "float on by". Anxious people, or more particularly those with OCD may pick up these thoughts and worry that it is truly them that feels that way. The more they worry about them, the harder it is to get the images or thoughts away.

I had a horrible images and thoughts in my head that someone I knew very close to me was a pedofile, to the point I avoided seeing them or talking to them in the worry that seeing them would make the thoughts worse. In fact, avoiding them made the thoughts worse.

More recently I have had even worse intrusive thoughts that I was a pedofile and it is just as terrifying, even though the thought worries and concerns me so much I know that it is not true but I just obsess with worry and concern. I'm sure it is because I'm thinking more about my future after university and becoming a teacher.

I just remind myself that the fact these thoughts worry me prove that they are not true. Every human has the "what if" scenarios: at a train station you see a train go past and anyone could have the thought "what if I jumped" but that does not mean they would or ever have the desire to do so. I push myself into situations that my OCD would want me to avoid because OCD are seperate thoughts to my own beliefs and feelings. Try to analyse the thoughts and recognise it is not you. Also, last year I was prescribed strong antihistamines to help me sleep which helped temporarily.

Intrusive thoughts are a more disturbing symptom than my typical chest pains, lightheadness and general on edge feelings, but I promise you they can subside!

[Juggar]

I had some of this happen and it still happens. I get stuck thinking about the same thing over and over. Thinking what if I can't forget it what if I can't sleep because of These thoughts. Honestly it's just hyper awareness to thoughts we always had that we never paid any mind to/gave power too. It gets irritating and can put me on edge but that's the worst it gets.

I've found that distracting ones self with pretty much anything helps greatly. I deal with it at night when going to be bee by thinking about positive things. Works great and I get to sleep in 5 mins now,

[robinhall]

Hi 24

I just uploaded a 'Therapy Dialogue' with a woman who had intrusive obsessional thoughts

I think you will find it extremely helpful

http://cbt4panic.org/denise-obsessio...ts-with-panic/

There is also a workbook on dealing with obsessional thoughts

http://cbt4panic.org/overcome-obsess...ning-thoughts/

and an introductory book on Mindfulness

http://cbt4panic.org/mindfulness-for-panic-and-anxiety/

All free - all illustrated with cartoons - very user friendly

Hope it is of use :-)
Robin