Please please I need to know. I’ve struggled with this for so long. It comes and goes. Now I don’t know what’s the truth of myself. I love my fiancé but what if it’s all a lie. What happened in the past was it just exploration? Is it common. My brain has me convinced that I’m a secret lesbian and it’s shameful.
It’s something I truly don’t want to be. I wouldn’t enjoy it. I don’t want to date women. But I have the urge to come out. What what reason? Why? I feel so shameful. I know me and my cousin were close. Maybe we were too close? She was someone I looked up to. We used to pretend we were boys and girls together. Nothing full on if you understand.

But now I feel like I’m tearing myself apart over it. Is this guilt and shame warranted? Her brothers used to tease us because we were close and call us lesbians. I felt shame then thinking what if we are? *panic*

Ever since I guess I must have had it in my head I must be secretly a lesbian.
But I truly don’t want to be as listed reasons above why.

And like I’ve said repeatedly. I love my fiancé