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Thread: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

  1. #21

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    Please please I need to know. I’ve struggled with this for so long. It comes and goes. Now I don’t know what’s the truth of myself. I love my fiancé but what if it’s all a lie. What happened in the past was it just exploration? Is it common. My brain has me convinced that I’m a secret lesbian and it’s shameful.
    It’s something I truly don’t want to be. I wouldn’t enjoy it. I don’t want to date women. But I have the urge to come out. What what reason? Why? I feel so shameful. I know me and my cousin were close. Maybe we were too close? She was someone I looked up to. We used to pretend we were boys and girls together. Nothing full on if you understand.

    But now I feel like I’m tearing myself apart over it. Is this guilt and shame warranted? Her brothers used to tease us because we were close and call us lesbians. I felt shame then thinking what if we are? *panic*

    Ever since I guess I must have had it in my head I must be secretly a lesbian.
    But I truly don’t want to be as listed reasons above why.

    And like I’ve said repeatedly. I love my fiancé

  2. #22
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Posts
    2,736

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    NCoxie, there is nothing to be ashamed of either way. Because you experimented when you were younger it doesn't mean you are a lesbian, it was experimentation, that's all.

    Have you spoken to a counsellor about your anxiety levels? Have you spoken to your GP?

  3. #23

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    @Catkin

    What about if I had these thoughts before? When I was a teenager. I was still panicked then but what if it was about coming out? I don’t know anymore is that real event HOCD or real? Why can’t I be sure of what I want or am anymore. Why does this feel real?

    I haven’t seen a therapist in a while. I had 6 months talking therapies 8 years ago back then I was obsessed with being secretly Trans.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Posts
    2,736

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    I would say look into getting a therapist again and maybe some CBT.

    Have you spoken to your GP? They might be able to refer you on.

    It feels real because your mind is very good at convincing you of things. All of our brains are - it doesn't mean that it's true.

  5. #25

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    @Scissel73
    I feel panicked now at this concept of soul searching and feeling to accept. That’s what I’m scared by. I don’t fancy women. I’m not sexually attracted to them but I can’t shake the panic

  6. #26

    Re: HOCD/ROCD feels real help me

    I’m still suffering with this and after a big spike. How do I get to the truth? Is it hocd? I’m so fearful. I’m getting married this year. I love him but what if I don’t love him enough. I don’t want to be this way. What if it’s true and not hocd? I need to know. I don’t want to hurt him. What if. What if these thoughts are true? I really don’t want them to be.

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