So I'm not new here but haven't visited in a couple years. I couldn't remember my old username or info, unfortunately. But this place has brought me much perspective and peace during rough times with HA in the past, hoping for that right now again. In fact, I've had this exact fear before, about 4 years ago and this forum really helped me.

Ok so my current debilitating fear is bulbar onset ALS. And yes I've made the mistake many times of reading over at the ALS forums, making everything worse of course.

So my current fear started with incessant phlegm and throat clearing about 5-6 weeks ago. Then a couple weeks after that started I noticed excess saliva (but yet my mouth feels dry at the same time). I now have started biting my inside left cheek (not habitual) when I talk and sometimes when I'm eating. I also feel like my speech is weird but everyone around me says it's normal. I feel like I'm choking on my own saliva, mostly at night when I'm in bed consumed with fear and incessant thoughts. I'm driving my poor husband crazy and I just want to enjoy the time I spend with my kids and husband. I can't get past the fear that this is bulbar onset als. Of course I read on the als forums where a guy said his started just like this, so I can't let go of that. 😕

I want to never worry about this dreadful, scary disease ever again and I don't know how to get past my fears. It's so hard to believe it's not real when my symptoms are so real.