Originally Posted by
Fidget
Hi Pulisa. I have been using an over the counter sleeping pill that you can buy here in France, but it's having little impact. I find I can quickly fall asleep and remain asleep for
2-3 hours but am awoken with anxiety, which remains with me for the remainder of the night. My mind is a whirlwind of activity with each thought causing a surge in anxiety. I try to remind myself that this is my amygdala working overtime, and try to focus on my breathing, but in truth During this period I feel so totally wretched, I just feel so desperate during these hours. I convince myself I am heading for a total breakdown.
I get up and sit outside with a cup of tea trying to bring back some sense of calm, and I can do that, but only if I am outside. Somehow I have developed a dislike of being inside the house, which does not bode well for the winter months.
My therapist has just allowed me to do a lot of talking, so we haven't got into trying to understand what's going on. I've had 3 sessions, and I'm not sure how these things are supposed to work. I pay €25 for an hours session. She is an accredited CBT therapist who worked in the uk, so I am hopeful that she can help put me on the road to recovery. I realise the solution has to come from within myself, but I really worry that I lack the emotional strength to climb my way back up. Sometimes it feels easier just to sit and wallow in self pity, rather than work at things. Everything feels so difficult. Thank you for listening to me, it's really kind of you. I hope that your mental wellness is good.