Reflections of the multimple rabies threads

[au Lait]

I've never really understood why people who get their irrational fears criticised seem to get offended by it. Don't you want to hear that your fears are silly? Absurd? Ridiculous? Unfounded? Irrational in the extreme?

If you know your fears are irrational then that's great, but in that event, I have to ask, what is it you want to achieve by asking a question about a fear that you openly admit is irrational?

People claim to want "support" a lot, but I struggle at times to decipher what that means. I'm not going to tell anyone that their fears about having rabies are anything other than utterly ridiculous. I get that the fear is born from an anxiety disorder, sure, but the fact remains that fearing rabies is ridiculous.

I refuse to give that type of fear credit. Why would I? Anxiety is an ugly illness, and I'm not here to sympathise with it. I'm not criticising the individual, I'm criticising your anxiety.

I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly don't feel offended. I agree with everything mynameisterry has written. Tough love is a thing, but so are compassion, empathy and tact. I can't really see how critising anyones anxiety, something that may largely be outside of their control, yet still is a very real part of them, is beneficial. Often times it's difficult to separate ones self from ones feelings. Perhaps that is why some may react as though they have taken offense. It's never fun to feel as though one's feelings are being invalidated.

We all have our invisible bats, as it were. No doubt letting someone know that their fears are unfounded is essential. But how must the people feel who were used as examples for this thread? They weren't named, but I'm sure they knew they were being referred to. I could see how that may make someone feel attacked or ridiculed. In no way do I think that was the intention of paranoid Viking in making this thread. I'm just offering a different perspective.

Paranoid Viking, I never said that you don't know anything about rabies related anxiety. I'm sorry that I gave you such an impression. I too had a past experience with rabies anxiety. That is where I am coming from. We're just two different sides of the same coin, that's all. No attack on you or anyone else here was intended on my part.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly don't feel offended. I agree with everything mynameisterry has written. Tough love is a thing, but so are compassion, empathy and tact. I can't really see how critising anyones anxiety, something that may largely be outside of their control, yet still is a very real part of them, is beneficial. Often times it's difficult to separate ones self from ones feelings. Perhaps that is why some may react as though they have taken offense. It's never fun to feel as though one's feelings are being invalidated.

We all have our invisible bats, as it were. No doubt letting someone know that their fears are unfounded is essential. But how must the people feel who were used as examples for this thread? They weren't named, but I'm sure they knew they were being referred to. I could see how that may make someone feel attacked or ridiculed. In no way do I think that was the intention of paranoid Viking in making this thread. I'm just offering a different perspective.

Paranoid Viking, I never said that you don't know anything about rabies related anxiety. I'm sorry that I gave you such an impression. I too had a past experience with rabies anxiety. That is where I am coming from. We're just two different sides of the same coin, that's all. No attack on you or anyone else here was intended on my part.

I agree, Paranoid-Viking started this thread with the best of intentions to help others. I understand what he is saying and part of me does agree, I do laugh at my anxiety and it can helpand I've taken the micky out of others I know on here with a jokey comment many a time.

I also agree with the points you raise here & before.

The whole bluntness vs. compassion has been discussed on threads for years and it always ends up the same - some prefer one to other and that position is solid.

What I take issue with is that the old "tea & sympathy" and enabling comes out to describe compassionate or thought challenging posting. Equally the same can be said that bluntness is nasty. In reality, some may be on each end but most are likely somewhere between.

I just find it odd that people can complain about no anxiety sufferers doing things that are done on here too? It's almost like "I'm fat so can call all overweight people fat and they shouldn't get upset" but people are all different and it pays to be cautious if you don't know how someone will react. We can be snappy when struggling, I know I have been, and emotions run high with the person asking for support and those giving it so some arguments are bound to happen in places like this. That may be why face-to-face groups are strict on rule enforcement?

It's also easy to get it wrong on here. It's harder in written form to understand the person on the other side. And our natural behaviour is a factor to, an arse is an arse no matter where they are (and the same for an enabler).

[au Lait]

I agree, Paranoid-Viking started this thread with the best of intentions to help others. I understand what he is saying and part of me does agree, I do laugh at my anxiety and it can helpand I've taken the micky out of others I know on here with a jokey comment many a time.

I also agree with the points you raise here & before.

The whole bluntness vs. compassion has been discussed on threads for years and it always ends up the same - some prefer one to other and that position is solid.

What I take issue with is that the old "tea & sympathy" and enabling comes out to describe compassionate or thought challenging posting. Equally the same can be said that bluntness is nasty. In reality, some may be on each end but most are likely somewhere between.

I just find it odd that people can complain about no anxiety sufferers doing things that are done on here too? It's almost like "I'm fat so can call all overweight people fat and they shouldn't get upset" but people are all different and it pays to be cautious if you don't know how someone will react. We can be snappy when struggling, I know I have been, and emotions run high with the person asking for support and those giving it so some arguments are bound to happen in places like this. That may be why face-to-face groups are strict on rule enforcement?

It's also easy to get it wrong on here. It's harder in written form to understand the person on the other side. And our natural behaviour is a factor to, an arse is an arse no matter where they are (and the same for an enabler).

I agree, it's a fine line to walk when it comes to being compassionate and enabling. It makes sense that a mixture of both bluntness and restraint would work, as everyone here will have individual needs and react differently. What works for some will not work for others, and vice versa.

I suppose it all comes down to "knowing your audience" as the saying goes. Any path chosen could easily go awry if the other person isn't open to what is being said, or how it's being said.

[Ellient]

For UK worriers

''The UK has been rabies-free since the beginning of the 20th century, with the exception of a rabies-like virus in a species of wild bat called Daubenton's bats.
This has only been found in a few bats and the risk of human infection is thought to be low. People who regularly handle bats are most at risk''



P.s - where exactly are these people going to see bats? I've never seen one and I live near a lot of different wild animals.

[AntsyVee]

I think there is a big difference between joking around and picking on someone. I like to find the humor in things. It's one of my coping mechanisms. I think pointing out that many fears are irrational and joking about them generally is healthy. It's a huge difference than making fun of someone specifically. No one in this thread has singled anyone out specifically to make fun of them. Paranoid viking started this thread on a general topic.

This isn't the first time someone has taken offense to a joke on here, and it won't be the last, and honestly, I stand by my earlier comment. If you can't laugh at an irrationality in a general way, then you're in way too deep.

[MyNameIsTerry]

For UK worriers

''The UK has been rabies-free since the beginning of the 20th century, with the exception of a rabies-like virus in a species of wild bat called Daubenton's bats.
This has only been found in a few bats and the risk of human infection is thought to be low. People who regularly handle bats are most at risk''



P.s - where exactly are these people going to see bats? I've never seen one and I live near a lot of different wild animals.

I have plenty of places to see bats near me and I'm on the edge of a city. We get them in our local parks, we have a "bat wood" not far away that's a National Trust site because of the bats and rarer trees, we have them at Chester Zoo in their excellent bat house , and I see them in my street sometimes or near the major roads (moth hunting because of the streetlamps).

I like bats though so seeing them is a good thing for me. I went on a bat walk once not too far away at a RSPB site where they have them living in an old cottage. We listened to them on bat monitors.

At the local park I've watched them diving over the lake. There must have been 20-30 of them. I'm surprised you don't see them if you have wild areas.

[Ellient]

I've seen them in a bat house aswell, I've just never seemed to see one in the wild

I loved seeing bats had no idea they could even carry diease, if I got bit by one before this thread I wouldn't even think to get it checked out. I wonder where this fear has come from, I live in the UK I've not seen anything in the news or anything to trigger it.

Maybe people see it on this forum and then start worrying?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, I think some will see it on here and take it in as a new fear. That's likely with cancer threads, especially when it's from a dubious Daily Mail article. Some form of anxiety type of mirroring.

I tend to be out doing some shopping between 12-3am so that might be why I've seen them more close to urban areas? I guess they adapt to humans encroaching on them.

Last year I had come out of a Tesco at 2am ish and went to scatter some food for the local rabbits on the industrial estate where it's all grass. I shook a carrier bag out and about 10 bats flew out of the bush right next to me! It was like a scene out of Batman.

[becca98]

Ignore all of that I thought you were talking in general terry not to everyone, feel like I've interrupted your conversation now

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ignore all of that I thought you were talking in general terry not to everyone, feel like I've interrupted your conversation now

Nah, talk away!

No one's robbing me of my choccies!!! Ruddy Daily Mail!